Sunday, December 20, 2009
I watched Star Wars: A New Hope again, but with new eyes. Every time I watch that movie Luke becomes more a more of a kid to me. See part 10, around 8 minutes - hilarious.
Han: "Do you think a guy like me-"
I like how Han just smiles.
We have an actual Christmas tree! With presents! And we're making Christmas cookies next week!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Jazz voices is having auditions for new members. My friend Andrew is in it, and he is a cool guy. You should also check out his car blog.
In other news: I have a boyfriend (Acius)? I probably already mentioned this to you. It is fun times.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Is cannibalism okay if it's post-mortem?
I like traditions. But some traditions are impractical, or sexist. Sexism is just a part of life, I think. Those boys in Sweden will just have to settle for not being St. Lucia tomorrow.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
There are only two more weeks of classes! Frig! I don't understand why I have procrastinated my papers this long. If I procrastinate it, does it mean I hate it?
ahh so I gave my blog URL to a high school friend and doing that self-reflexive "what do people think of me from reading my blog?" And I'm so serious and BORING and WHINEY all the time. I was reading back on some of my entries, and at least they were funny! Why am I not funny anymore, that's what I want to know. Probably because I've started to worry about whether I'm funny or not. Maybe I should stop worrying about it! At least I don't write bad poetry anymore!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
My grandpa looked through half the book. "He can be artistic without being particularly beautiful." His hands are shaking and he has trouble turning the pages. I hope it is not Parkinson's. He accidentally gets some chocolate pie on one page and tries to wipe it off. When I get home I clean the glossy pages with a microfiber cloth that I got from a flute dealer. That's the risk of sharing, I guess.
I also brought along a Foxtrot comic book. My cousin Devin read it and said it reminded him of when my little brother would always bring his Garfield books with him when he visited. Devin's brother just left for a mission yesterday, and Devin looks a little sad, but he laughs when he reads the book. I think that a good book can be therapeutic. Especially good comic books. We watch Meet the Robinsons and I wonder what my future family will be like.
Monday, November 23, 2009
One of the problems of sharing links online is that my conversations become redundant (oh, did you hear about how shellac is bug poo? Yes, Whistler, you shared it in Google reader).
I read No Country for Old Men and I didn't like it that much. I thought the philosophy was too overt and the violence a little self-gratifying. But I think my dislike is deeper. I consider a book well-written if it teaches me new words and describes things in ways I hadn't thought of before. I also like it if there are hidden connections and obscure tangents. Okay, I still don't know why I didn't think it was fantastic. I really hope it wasn't just because it was a bunch of guys shooting each other, because I think that has potential.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
That reminds me. I played Kid A for my students while they were writing, and about halfway through "The National Anthem" I was like "oh, this might not be the best concentration music for everyone." Embarrassing! But I don't feel too bad, because one of my teachers this morning played Satie's Gnossienne No. 1, which was fraught with memories of when I saw The Painted Veil last and then when I saw it first, and then when I learned the piece on the piano. All memories that aren't inherent in the piece itself but dependent on its context in my life. I think that type of personalization it something people like about music. So, everyone can listen to the same piece of music, and if they've heard it before, they could all have personal memories about it. Okay, this bulletin from captain obvious is over!
Saturday, November 07, 2009
But doesn't "damn" do the same thing? It makes the serious situation of eternal judgment into a commonplace. I would feel pretty uncomfortable saying "exalted straight!" Anyway, Ian Duncan was visiting and talking about the relationship between the sacred and the profane, and I've been trying to figure out what it means.
(that said...I think showing the absurdity of jr. high cussing is kind of funny. cf. "A Serious Man.")
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Well, here is a joke for you: What do you call a bunch of chess champions acting boastful in a fancy hotel?
A: Chess nerds boasting in an open foyer.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
I purchased Sufjan Steven's new DVD The BQE recently, and it came with 3 downloads of the film (iphone-sized). My last download will go to the winner of this contest (I will e-mail him/her the access code).
Here is the contest: Make a one-panel comic including chestnuts. It can be in the dialog, in the background, as a character, a prop - whatever. E-mail submissions to me by midnight on the 30th, and I'll decide the winner on Halloween (and post the submissions, unless I get weird ones). Scanners are available in the HBLL (the copier ones are easier to use than ever - you can even have them e-mail it to you). Most of you know my address; if you don't know me, just use my Board address: email@example.com.
Okay, have fun! Even if you're not crazy about Sufjan I would encourage you to participate, because, it will be kind of hilarious.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I was too shy to talk to you, and I thought you were a professor, but now that I've used my creepy data mining skills it looks like you are a fellow graduate student in North Carolina. I am loving the plaid sport coat, but Faulkner? Seriously? Don't we have enough Faulkloreists in the world?
your snobby once-proximal,
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Sunday, October 04, 2009
One wants to join the cynic, who seems so smart and invulnerable. Then the earnest and innocent self is left behind, ridiculed and humiliated. The innocent self becomes a kind of "hot potato" to be passed back and forth, no one wishing to be the final receptacle of such vulnerability. [...] One might say that Henry [the case study] lacks just such a capacity for transitional experiencing, a place between the fixedness of self as "really this" or "really that." What Henry has not fully appreciated is that no one is "really" a banker in some transcendent sense, nor is anyone really not a banker; if one looks closely enough, one finds that there is really no such thing as a banker in a Platonic or essentialist sense.
I find myself also feeling that cynicism is a safe place for me - where I can blame other institutions for my failures, or at least something I can't change. I also often complain that I can't really be a graduate student, or that I'm "becoming one of them." But there isn't going to be some day where I wake up and I'm "really" an academic intellectual or I'm "really" someone who knows what she wants to do with her life. Anyway, I wish I could scan the whole chapter and send it to you. Well, I guess I can, if you're interested. Let me know.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
1. REI Backpack
My freshman year of high school, my parents bought me this backpack for my birthday. I whined because it was pretty much my only present that year, but nine years later I am still using it five days a week. My sister still uses hers, too.
2. IBM Thinkpad Laptop
My dad gave me his old laptop when I graduated from high school. It lasted me three years, and he bought it used. I used it almost every day, and when the motherboard finally fried I was able to live without it for the summer, but I really missed it?
3. Sony Portable Cassette Player
I think my parents bought me this tape player when I was around 9 years old for Christmas. I used it to listen to my tapes all the time up through high school, and I think my mom still uses it to take to church and play music for her lessons sometimes.
4. Grado SR60 headphones
I bought these for myself about two years ago when all the cords of other cheap earbuds kept getting crushed when I put my mp3 player in my pocket. I use them all the time, with my laptop especially, and it's a better listening experience than just using my laptop's speakers. Every once in a while when I'm trying to watch a movie with someone I wish I had another pair and one of those dual-headphone output plugs.
5. Seagate 150 GB External Hard Drive
Another Christmas present from... about four years ago. I use it a few times every week to store huge files and listen to music. It's the old-school style, which looks like that droid tank from Star Wars V, but I think that it's a stable design, which is really what I go for in external drive design.
Honorable Mentions: My Land's End rain jacket (used every winter since around '04), my American Heritage Dictionary, my typewriter (more useful than you might initially suspect!), my 1 GB mp3 player, the portfolio thing I bought from the BYU bookstore to hold all my papers, and the green sport coat I bought at Thriftown for $7.
Looking back on this post, I'm like "wow maybe I am a materialist," but this is stuff that has really made a difference in the quality of my life, I think.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
1. Sometimes I catch myself taking it personally if a student doesn't try or do well on an assignment. Like, I think they think they're being a punk or something, when actually some of them just don't care enough to try that hard. The hard part is when a student has really tried but still doesn't quite get it right. Then I think that I'm not a very good teacher.
2. It's kind of fun bonding to talk to friends about my romance life (or lack thereof?), but sometimes I'm afraid that it just intensifies my emotions, or creates artificial expectations. But, it's something to talk about that isn't grad school or the class I'm teaching.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 05, 2009
I feel inadequate as my job as a teacher. I am teaching writing and I haven't even had a writing class for several years. Supposedly my admittance to the program speaks of my writing competence, but I have my doubts. I haven't read the research on what classroom activities are best to assist learning. I don't know what types of comments will help my students learn how to write. I'm afraid that I will discourage freshmen. I want them to learn how much they have yet to learn, even if they took AP classes.
I also broke up with Crow. Well, we had been talking about it a little over the past few weeks. I'm a little sad to let go, but we were to the point where there was nothing else we could do. I mean, not like my romantic life is worthy of note. I always feel awkward blogging about it; it's personal to me... but I also realize that people want updates on my life, and he was a significant player in my life recently. Maybe he still will be. Why do I try to force things to happen? Would my baseline behaviors (without goals/desires) be inadequate to live a righteous life? I don't understand. I mean, in the end, who cares about post-modernism. I just want to start my own family in the next decade or so.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Monday we went with to the Monterey Bay Aquarium - great seahorses, river otters, and cuttlefish! I looked into getting my own cuttlefish when I returned, but my little brother informed me that they would require a large tropical saltwater tank, which is more complicated than your regular Beta fish. The Internet also informs me that cuttlefish are difficult to find in petshops (especially in land-locked states) and don't hold up well with shipping. If only I lived in Australia I could just catch my own! They're supposed to be really intelligent, and I wouldn't be surprised if they had personalities and could tell people apart. Speaking of intelligent animals, I was just reading that crows can tell individual humans apart. Maybe I should get a crow as a pet2!
Wednesday I went to this classic car museum with my dad. We rode his motorcycle there and back, which was a bit different and a little fun. There was a really cute Mercedes and some stunning BAT designs. Then today I met up with friends to go to the Museum of Modern Art. The O'Keefe/Ansel Adams exhibit was great and so was Richard Avedon; I wish we had had more time to look at everything. They had a Magritte on display I don't think I had seen before (this one!). So it was good times! I don't want to leave. I enjoy my Provo friends, but it seems like whenever I'm there I have things like work and school to do. :-/
1Okay, I haven't had that much Indian food to know if it was fantastic or not, but I really, really enjoyed it.
2Or do I already have one??
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
So, I watched Star Trek again. Chris Pine is quite attractive! Man, I'm starting to become one of those girls who just watches movies for the cute guys. :-/. Which reminds me, I had this dream I was giving Cary Grant a back rub, and William Shatner was trying to get my attention, but I wasn't having any of it. Like, celebrities in my dreams? This is going too far!
I think Crow is working really long hours or something; he's never online anymore. I'm so powerless to do anything. I miss him a bit, but I'm learning to be less emotionally reliant on him, I guess (I just use my other friends, which isn't bad, but...). I want to encourage him to move back to Provo, but I don't know how without sounding whiny. I was hoping he would move down for fall semester. I'm really annoyed about it. In case you couldn't tell.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Another (unrelated) thing I was thinking about is what it would be like to have grown up in a more academic family. One of my professors is a daughter of Hugh Nibley, and it strikes me that while it might have been fun to know things that other kids weren't taught, it was probably incredibly annoying to get attention through proxy (a famous relative). My parents are smart people, just not the "academic" type (don't get me wrong, my dad has an MBA from a prestigious university, but I think that's different). So, I put myself through some thought experiments (that's a fancy way of saying "seemingly objective fantasies"). I'm not sure if I would have had much interest if my parents had tried to teach me a foreign language, or if I would even have accepted their book recommendations. I was kind of an independent kid, but easily influenced. I liked watching cartoons and playing computer games. I liked reading books that didn't overtly teach me anything.
If my parents had been more interested in academic pursuits, would that have changed the things I liked? Would I have been just as excited to discover Shostakovich if he had been sitting on our music shelves forever? Sometimes I wonder if my "love" of classical music and classic literature is just because it's so different from what I was brought up with. We had some classical music (Tchaikovsky #1 and Rachmaninoff #2 on the same tape, and I still get them confused today, embarrassingly), but it wasn't a focus.
Maybe I'm not giving my parents enough credit. They really encouraged me to pursue my own interests, but I feel like in some areas, I had to rely on other sources to introduce me to Dostoevsky or Chopin. But, I think that my forced exploration was a good thing. It helped me achieve early familiarity with the Internet. Many afternoons after graduating from jr. high were spent chatting with other gamefaqs fans of the Gameboy game Magi Nation, which I never beat, actually. I enjoyed exploring the early archives of classicalarchives.net (back when they were all midis!) in my early high school years. I got book recommendations from online booklists for music lovers (which led me to read An Equal Music before I was, er, mature enough for it). Along with the internet though, I listened around. If there was a book I had never heard of that the other English classes were reading, I'd go read it. This is a device I still use today - it's how I read Infinite Jest and Brideshead Revisited. But, it makes me wonder: Do I just want to know what everyone else is talking about, or am I interested in the book itself because of its acclaim? Anyway. Stuff I've been thinking about.
Friday, July 31, 2009
I think another way this comes off badly is if someone wants to know more about me. At the beginning of one of my classes, our teacher asked us to write a little about ourselves, and I wrote a few things and then, "and you don't need to know anything else about me." I find talking about myself kind of difficult for some reason. I find bragging loathsome, and I think it's more interesting to gradually get to know someone, not to feel like you know someone just because you know a few random facts about him. I'm not sure if that's the impression I gave though - by wanting to allow others to truly get to know me, I also put up fences, because maybe I have a strange-looking yard and I only want people who really want to see it to take a look. Does that make sense?
I was looking back on my johari/nohari things today. Along with my cynicism, most people said I was smug and distant (but also insecure, embarrassed, and aloof). Maybe I became gradually aware of my smugness and tried self-deprecation as a tool to combat that. But when it comes right down to it, I'm arrogant. I think that most people have misconceptions about the world, and that I know more than them and have better sources. And, maybe I do, for some things, but I want to stop assuming that so that I can care about what they think, instead of just thinking that they're wrong.
In the classroom setting, there is plenty of time to hear other people talk. There's one girl who always talks about how smart she is - how she did well in high school, and how she often takes less time on tests than she's given. It annoyed me a little, along with the newlywed who starts every sentence with "my husband..." I think I felt annoyed because I feel like those are inappropriate conversation topics for acquaintances. I think that might explain my aloofness. I feel very uncomfortable discussing my private life with people I don't know very well. I feel uncomfortable discussing it even with people I do know pretty well. A married freshman year friend of mine visited, and we were talking about Crow, and she asked if we had talked about marriage, and I just gave a short answer and changed the subject. I do ask friends for advice every now and then, but I don't always follow it.
Well, I know this isn't the usual blurb-length blog post for me, but if I'm ever going to feel comfortable talking about myself, I have to start somewhere, even if it is a semi-anonymous website. Please feel free to share your ideas on how introverted intellectuals like me can seem less aloof or distant.
"In one letter he had written to her then he had said: Why is it that words like these seem to me so dull and cold? Is it because there is no word tender enough to be your name?"
"One by one they were all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and whither dismally with age. "
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Edit: Here is the question.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
edit: Perhaps it's an instance of CRYPTOMNESIA??
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Guess what: I checked out this book called Implementing Evidence-Based Academic Interventions in School Settings. I'm excited, because I looked for a good book on Amazon about research on school psychology, and a lot of it was stupid pop-psych stuff... but this looks legit.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Zuihitsu on The Strangeness of Beauty
The Strangeness of Beauty is nothing like the Japanese literature I’ve read. It is terribly conscious that an American is reading it, so all of the Japanese terms are explained in-text, and some Japanese terms are abandoned for American ones. Fuji-sama (I assume) becomes “Most Honorable Mrs. Fuji,” and Minatoya explains simple things like split-toed socks and the Obon festival. Our narrator, Etsuko, goes off for pages on Japanese history lessons on samurai manners or the significance of bridal gifts. Instead of feeling like an insider, as I do when I read (translated) Japanese literature, I’m suddenly an ignorant white American, and I resent that. I wish Etsuko felt like she could be herself, and I don’t understand why she’s explaining all these Japanese things.
Etsuko often tells too much. After explaining how she always paused to smell herbs in her childhood home, she says, “I loved the aromas of the drying herbs” (102). As if it weren’t already evident! Another time after Hanae shouts, Etsuko tells us, “Mari’s sudden shallowness makes Hanae angry” (158). Does she have to spell it out? Another thing about Etsuko: she’s terribly self-conscious and doesn’t do anything to fix the flaws she notices. She writes, “I’m growing bored with my I-story. All reminiscence, no action” (110). She doesn’t make it more exciting though; she just reminisces some more. When speaking of Hanae’s seriousness, Etsuko says that adolescence is the place for “self-conscious moping” (70). She should have added “I-stories” as a place for moping.
Despite my problems with Minatoya’s style, there are some things I’ve really enjoyed about her novel. Chie feels like a real old person to me. So many times I think elderly people are simplified as either bumbling idiots or wise sages. Chie can be cruel, but she has feelings for her descendents. Sometimes I feel the same way about my own grandma. I lived with my grandparents for my first two years of college, and I found out that my grandma isn’t always comforting and smiling. She has strong opinions about what I should do with my life and the kind of man I should marry. But despite (or maybe because of) her constant reminders that I should look for a good job or get a better boyfriend, she loves me and wants me to have a happy life. And I think Chie feels the same way about her daughter when she says “you walk like a turtle! […] An intelligent turtle, whose curiosity outreaches its stride” (269).
I think I finally understand what Etsuko was “doing” with her I-story. Etsuko explains how one day she and her husband saw many amateur painters, all trying to paint irises, but with all of their paintings looking the same. Etsuko saw beauty in their mediocrity, because it represented their sincere effort. She says this is the strangeness of beauty: “that transcendence can be found in what’s common and small” (350). I think people like mothers and teachers can understand this, but coolly cynical almost-graduate students like me have a hard time with it. It’s unhip to like things that are popular and amateurish… but if I’m going to enjoy art instead of constantly criticizing it (as I do on the first page of this essay), I need to learn to see the good in things instead of constantly finding faults. At the same time, finding flaws and problems in literature is part of what teachers encourage from literature students. Sometimes I find it difficult to just enjoy a book, no matter how common or flawed it might appear.
Another thing about enjoying the strangeness of beauty is that our culture does not encourage it. Mediocre is no longer acceptable, as shown by grade inflation, my high school declining to reveal class rankings (for fear of parent bereavement?), and motivational speakers urging students not to be satisfied with mediocrity, to keep pushing to do their best. No wonder so many students have problems with perfectionism! But seriously, what’s wrong with mediocrity? Plenty of kids are average. Why does that seem so sad to me? I irrationally value excellence and intelligence, probably because I was rewarded for it so often growing up. In the end though, excellence and intelligence are not enough to make me value life.
Going back to The Strangeness of Beauty, Minatoya captures to “madness of love” (67) when she describes the underwear Naomi sewed for Hanae, and the waistbands sewed with a thousand stitches in hope that they will protect soldiers from bullets. It’s just this kind of thing that makes me think how stupid love makes people. But why does it seem stupid to me? I evaluate others’ efforts by the usefulness or beauty of the things they produce. Hanae’s underwear isn’t useful, and only Hanae and her family can appreciate its beauty. The waistbands with a thousand stitches are neither bulletproof nor aesthetically pleasing. In these cases, it’s not the utility or the beauty of a thing that matters but the love shown by the effort of doing something crazy. I think the “madness of love” is something I can understand a little easier - I’ve done plenty of stupid things in the name of love – but I haven’t valued those things as an evidence of an effortful love. Maybe I should start enjoying my love madness.
The Strangeness of Beauty helped me to understand how my evaluations of literature are steeped in my assumption that the style of literature should be exemplary or remarkable. Even if I didn’t think that Minatoya’s style was perfect, she helped me to see the beauty in her own novel by explaining the strangeness of beauty in the everyday and mediocre.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Anyway, I don't think having a dining room is very practical, unless you eat all your meals there and then would have more room in the kitchen for preparing food. But I guess the point of a dining room is that you don't eat all your meals there, just when you want to be a little fancier. I tend to think that fanciness is a state of mind more than a state of dress... but how we dress can influence our behavior too.
Another thing that came up in class was parts of the play that bothered us. I remembered one scene where a woman is hostessing a birthday party for her son and the whole time is talking to one kid's dad about the affair they're having. While I was reading it, I was amused. But when I was talking about it in class, I was not compassionate at all. I was like "WHY would people have KIDS if they're not going to take care of them? That's so SELFISH. It really bothers me." And I realized that it wasn't the book I was upset about, it was the cases from work that I thought back on. Where kids are coached to say mean things about one parent, or have to visit an abusive parent. It upsets me most when parents are mean or negligent to their own children. It upsets me even more when an abusive parent thinks she's actually helping.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
In the episode where they're searching for the call girl in LA - she most likely had body dysmorphic disorder, not "an addiction to plastic surgery." You're perpetuating "addiction" as a buzzword and not a specific problem. Thought you should know. I will list other problems as I notice them.
6/29 Dr. Sweets is a psychologist. Stop calling him a psychiatrist. Also, in the episode with the time capsule, if the woman got pregnant at the end of her senior year, her son would be 19 at the youngest at their 20-year reunion (too old to be a high school senior... or perhaps he repeated a grade?).
7/7 the season 3 finale is completely out of character for Zack. I can't believe you betrayed his personality to add suspense and intrigue. Also, what does Brennan have against Catholics? She seems perfectly accepting of other religions (voodooism, Buddhism, etc.)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do with all these potatoes.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
In some strange flurry, I saw Crow again last Saturday. Like snapping a rubber band, it hurts but feels so good. Love it and not sure if I should. Self-distraction to increase self-control futile.
I've got the technique but not the style. Fever and chills, high speeds and cheap thrills. Deduction and reduction, suction and corruption. I've got to stop. Whistler, crop.
I'm not sure where all the free time is going. Reading probably. More cooking. Self-doubt about my graduate program, doubt that I can actually write a paper. More online chatting. As I'm more connected online, I feel more isolated in person. So I've been trying to get out more too.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Um... I was at DI yesterday and found a typewriter in the collectibles section. I couldn't pass this chance up, even though it'll need some repairs (and was a little pricey). No, seriously, gorgeous! The glass keys and white letters on black paper are kind of hard to come by. It needs a rubber band thing to make the space bar work properly, and some other repairs (you can see in the first photo that the caps lock is having issues). Other than that, yeah. I think I'm in love.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
There's something I want you to notice about this photo: the spoon. It seems like every spoon in our apartment is different, and some of them are really cute. This one in particular has a design with roses, I think. You might laugh but it's these daily discoveries of art in my life that keep me happy sometimes.
For some reason I was thinking about my ex-boyfriends today. It always makes me feel kind of sad, like sometimes I can't believe they're still alive and have ideas and hopes that I'm no longer privy to (to any of them reading now: hello!). It's hard for me to imagine them apart from me. Maybe that says something about my relationships - maybe I'm too selfish or unimaginative of desires outside myself. I constantly worry that the people I love aren't who I think they are, that my perception is clouded by my unrealistic expectations. I guess worrying about it won't suddenly open my eyes to the difference between how people appear, how I perceive them, and how they are.
I don't know if I've changed at all over the past few years. I'm not sure if it would be a good thing if I did. Maybe I'm destined to make the same mistakes again and again. Maybe making mistakes will be fun.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I'm babysitting my sister's kids tonight and somehow they were all asleep an hour ago. I only had to cheat a little. Oh, and I've been playing "Portal." It's super awesome, but I remembered why I don't play a lot of computer games. I don't care about beating them. If I run up against a hard part, I'm like, "oh well I'll come back to this later" and then I never come back to it. That's... pretty much why I still haven't beaten Chrono Trigger or FF7 (I'm embarrassed).
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Well, now I'm at my sister's, and I get to play with my nephews all the time. Heh, I always win Nerf fights. My oldest nephew is four and he knows how to play LittleBigPlanet with the rest of us (the game and my nephew are way cute). Fun times!
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
I am looking forward to taking off 10 days from work though. Um, Crow (the nickname makes sense to me, just get used to it) and I hit it off pretty well when he came down to visit last week, so I'm returning the favor this weekend (the stars aligned with a ride and Rummikub-like schedule switching at work). Normally I like to plan every detail out in advance, but this was like, "okay, let's see if I can make this work, right now." -crazy!
I've been interviewing for a new job, and I find job interviews terrifying. I think condensing myself into three words is absurd, and I also think asking someone if they're good at a job is stupid. Make them do some representative work and see if you like it or not! At least we have office skills tests so I can be like, "look how fast I can type, you definitely want to hire me!" I also really, really dislike misleading (using selective information with) people in order to convince them to hire me. But hey at least I got a few interviews!
Friday, March 27, 2009
SOME FOOLS НЕКОТОРЫЕ ДУРАКИ
REVERT TO SOPHISTICATED PROCEDURES ПРИБЕГАЮТ К СЛОЖНЫМ ПРОЦЕДУРАМ
TO PROMOTE THEIR PERSONALITY, ЧТОБЫ РЕКЛАМИРОВАТЬ СВОЮ ЛИЧНОСТЬ,
THAT KILLS THEIR MORAL IMAGE ЭТО УБИВАЕТ ИХ МОРАЛЬНЫЙ ОБЛИК
1.That fool bored me like hell. 1.Этот дурак мне страшно надоел.
2.He told endless stories. 2.Он рассказывал бесконечные истории.
3.He told flat jokes, 3.Он расказывал плоские шутки,
4.after which he laughted alone. 4.после которых он смеялся один.
5.As for me, I wanted to weep. 5.Что касается меня, я хотел плакать.
6.At such moments 6.В такие моменты
I wanted to murder him. я хотел убить его.
7.I wanted to strangle him 7.Я хотел задушить его
with my own hands. собственными руками.
8.In his stories 8.В этих историях
he always posed as a hero. он всегда выступал как герой.
his artistic ego его артистическое я
was not successful не имело успеха
in realistic terms. в реалистических терминах.
10.But then 10.Но зато
there were moral implications был моральный подтекст
to his advantage. в его пользу.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
2. Fleet Foxes - He doesn't know why
3. The Aquabats - Red sweater!
4. We Are Scientists - Lousy reputation
5. Cake - Love you madly
6. Radiohead - My iron lung
7. The Raconteurs - Steady as she goes
8. The Decemberists - O Valencia!
9. Arcade Fire - My body is a cage
10. Franz Ferdinand - Darts of pleasure
11. Cat Power - Could we
12. Death Cab for Cutie - I will follow you into the dark
13. My Brightest Diamond - Inside a boy
14. Cat Stevens - Here comes my baby
15. Radio Dept. - The worst taste in music
16. Muse - Time is running out
17. M83 - In Church (Cyann & Ben Version)
This was a mix I made for a "friend." Little did I know that there is a racy narrative behind it all (read the song titles in order)! Bah ha ha...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
I started reading Heller's Something Happened today. My favorite is the blurb on the back: "When you read Something Happened something will happen to you!" bah ha ha why don't books want to sell themselves anymore? "Once in a decade something important happens in books. In the 1970's, it is Something Happened." One project I'd like to work on sometime is scanning in my old paperbacks and make fun of them (a la pop sensation).
Now please enjoy this photo of my eye!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Back to Crow, he's not at BYU at the moment so I have all this time to imagine him as someone he's not. And that kind of worries me, because I know that I've had unrealistic expectations about friends in the past, and it can be damaging. But at least I'm aware that I'm being silly. And I think he might even like me back, a little. He gets along well with children (or so I hear) and I find that really attractive, especially after working with so many people who don't. (P.S. Crow do you read this blog? I have no idea. Sorry if I embarrassed you.)
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Guy 1: There is definetly [sic] something there with her. I don't think I am just stupid. What do you think?My commentary: Bah ha ha... the funny thing is that it's a fast Sunday program from 2006... that means that someone kept this in his pocket for like two years (although I guess I've done similar things). --Going to Alaska to strengthen a relationship? So is going to go there without her so they can do the long-distance thing or are they going together? And comparing getting married to bearing your testimony... I'm not so sure about that one... All I can think of is, "you know that feeling, when you're kissing, and you're sure you want to get married RIGHT NOW? yeah..." but perhaps he's holier than I am.
Guy 2: Man, I trust you Judgment and I support you, but 2 weeks is really quick.
Guy 1: This is how I explained it to her : (Makes sense?) You know during fast and testimony meeting, when you get the feeling to get up and share? And you do you best and set it aside, till you can't take it any longer, so you break and go to the front and share. I wanted to tell her I was going to marry her, but the thought "two weeks, two weeks," kept coming up. I don't know.
Guy 2: if it truly is the right thing to do, I don't thing giving it more time will hurt it. like we talked about earlier, it is an eternal decision. Granted, I was only 16 and didn't know anything, but the first 7 months w/ Celeste felt great. then the issues started to come out and we started fighting.
Guy 1: I agree with you, that is why I think Alaska is a really good idea. I think it will be 4 months to gain a better relationship with her.
Guy 2: yeah, I agree.
P.S. If this is you or a friend of yours, thanks for the amusement!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Bottom line: Always rinse your beans, no matter what your grandma says!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Your children desperately want your approval and praise. However when you only pay attention to them when they do something bad they will keep doing these bad things so you'll notice them! Take an interest in their lives and stop yelling at them and their behavior will improve. Give them structure and opportunities to be obedient. Praise their success. Oh and don't take yourself so seriously and stop trying to control your kids all the time. Rudely bossing children around is a recipe for creating a belligerent, rude child. Even I can tell this and I'm not even a parent! I'm surprised that your children have not already strangled you.
-had a long Saturday at work
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
But as much as I'd like to be non-snobby about the education of people I date, I still think education is important (despite how stupid some classes are!). I think getting a Bachelor's demonstrates a willingness to endure ennui and arbitrary assignments for a delayed, abstract reward. Kind of like marriage! Now the only problem is that some guys might be perfectly capable of working for delayed gratification yet not complete their education for other reasons (insufficient funds, job that doesn't require a degree, disillusionment with educational system, etc.). That's all I had to say about it.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
- I can be creepy in a stalkerish way and I've been that way since high school. I'm trying to be less creepy. Hopefully this will improve my public image!
- I've spent a summer with each Mozart flute concerto. This might explain my love-hate relationship with them.
- Sometimes I still think my ex-boyfriends are cute.
- I fantasize about composing some great music or a novel. However I realize that both of these industries are highly competitive, and even if I were some kind of genius it would be hard to make any money off of it.
- I frequently used the term "lamerz" until my roommate mercilessly made fun of me. Now I use the term "lame-o."
- I will go to the movies by myself, but I'll feel stupid while doing it.
- I'm always disappointed when a male acquaintance gets engaged. I'm like, "well forget you!"
- I think cooking is boring, but I like the results too much to do away with it.
- I've been trying not to use my inhaler so I can sell plasma soon.
- I know that no one likes it when I sing along with my music. I mouth the words, listening through my headphones, and wonder if other people can tell what I'm saying.
- I'm painfully self-conscious. But you knew that.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Again and again and againThe repetitive "again and again" refrain is itself repetitive while lamenting how repetitive life is, and how the repetition becomes meaningless - easy, creepy, stupid, perfect - these all become synonyms when physical actions and habit take precedence over thought and wonder. The "I hate you, I want you" further limns the frustration with dependence on lust for meaningful relationships. The song offers no solution but successfully elicits from the listener the pleasurable boredom of repetition made meaningful by the meaninglessness it conveys. Go post-modernism!
Do it again
Do it again
Again and again
It's a shame, it's a shame
It's a perfect shame
Creep under my door and we do it again, oh
It's easy and easy and easy and easy
And creepy and creepy and creepy, oh
Again, again, again, again
Again and again and again
Do it again
Do it again
Again and again and again
Do it again
Do it again
Again and again
Say my name, say my name, say my stupid name
It's stupid how we always seem to do it again, oh
You're so stupid and perfect
And stupid and perfect
I hate you, I want you
I hate you, I hate you, oh
Again, again, again, again
La, la, la
Again and again and again
Do it again
Do it again
Again and again and again
Do it again
Do it again
Again and again
P.S. PLEASE tell me if you know what kind of car is in that music video.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The question here is, what of Lassie's characteristics are attractive?
-somehow being an American with straight teeth yet looking Irish
-regret hidden behind hostility
-secure/cool job position
-good at shooting guns
-only smiles when he's actually happy
-lack of tact is endearing
-let's face it that gun holster is sexy
In other news I have given in to playing Scrabble on Facebook! Please challenge me to a game if you would like to play. Now please enjoy this photo of a lamp in our apartment:
Friday, January 23, 2009
Oreo: Black person who acts white
Twinkie/banana: Asian person who acts white
Egg: White person who acts asian
I think these terms are interesting because it's usually like, racism between members of the same race (although I think "egg" could be used endearingly to a white person with lots of Asian friends?). Also: they are all foods? Are there more terms like this, and if not could we make them up (because I'm racially insensitive)?
Also: I got to watch some crazy Russian cartoons. I recommend hedgehog in the fog.
Now, please enjoy this photo of our ceiling!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Other news: I finished applying to BYU's MA in English program. They have a 40% acceptance rate, so I might actually make it! I think they don't do interviews, which only improves my chances. However, my writing sample was only seven pages when they wanted ten... but better to be brief than to be a bore, I always say. I just didn't have time (or resources) to research and make the argument for Black Humor as a transitionary genre into post-modernism. But perhaps in the future... ! (PS Don't steal my idea. Please?) MTTS comic about grad school.
Sad story: When I graduated I checked out like 30 books to read (with my then-graduate/honors check-out privileges). I kept renewing them until I lost my privliges, and the last books are due February 6th (and I still have about six and a half of them to read). After this I will either have to hang out at the HBLL, just use the Provo library, or actually start on the 40 books or so I have saved up for this specific purpose.
And now for your opinion: Anonymous comments - are they flattering or worrisome? I know Tangerine found them annoying enough to disable them on her blog. Heh, she can't defend herself since she's on a mission (sorry Tangy!).