tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329037742024-03-07T15:17:29.557-08:00Whistling in the DarkRachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.comBlogger362125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-46167472495060976472023-12-30T11:31:00.000-08:002023-12-30T11:31:48.990-08:002023 - DEATH AND REBIRTH<p> Well, 2023!! I got diagnosed with OCD! And I keep running into stupid stuff I feel like I have to do but now, with the aid of medication and insight, I can identify as the OCD and anxiety nonsense they are. Things like:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"doing it right" even though I'm the only one who cares about it, then being upset when no one else cares about it</li><li>frantically trying to do "enough" to celebrate holidays, then feeling like it's never good enough. For example:</li><ul><li>reading scary stories and watching horror movies all of October, then feeling guilty for not playing horror videogames</li><li>having a delicious meal with family on Thanksgiving, but feeling bad for not feeling more gratitude the whole month</li><li>fully celebrating Christmas by giving and receiving gifts, attending church, and reading scriptures about Christ, then feeling like I didn't think about Jesus enough</li><li>making the same Christmas cookies every year, then feeling like something is missing</li></ul></ul><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><ul></ul><li>trying to fix other people's problems, even though they never asked me to</li><li>caring more about making other people happy instead of doing what I want to do</li><li>trying to review all the dumb stuff I did wrong during the sacrament and being certain that I must not repent of it because I know I will repeat that dumb stuff, also, is it really a sin?? NOW I read scriptures during that time! </li><li>wanting religion to make sense</li><li>going through all my previous journal entries and summarizing them every year!</li></ul><div>Maybe in the future I will have tons of time to reflect on the previous year and want to read my journal entries for the whole year. I know that my memory isn't accurate, but I'm okay with that. I don't have to be a historian of my own life. </div><div><br /></div><div>There were some other milestone events for me this year. I had my third sinus surgery and afterwards I had a terrible infection. The pain was excruciating and I wanted to go into a medically induced coma until it was over. The nurse laughed at me when I asked if I could add an analgesic to my sinus rinse (specifically, that stuff you spray on the back of your throat when it's sore). There was a week where I wanted to die. I was really thinking about the most ethical way to end my pain, like it was something on my to-do list and people trying to guilt me out of it by saying they would be so sad were merely obstacles in my way. It's really hard to describe my mindset. It was different than being depressed, it was just feeling certain that there would be no end to my misery. Luckily, my ENT was able to get a real sample from the problem area. Black blobs came out of my sinuses like the witch of the waste's minions in <i>Howl's Moving Castle</i>. But unlike a wasteland, there was a lot growing in my sinuses--black mold and two different bacteria. </div><div><br /></div><div>Somewhere in here I presented at Mormon Scholars in the Humanities. I twisted Steve Peck's arm until he agreed to write an interactive fiction piece with me. After two months of discussing ideas, we realized that Steve needed to learn more about interactive fiction before he tried writing it, so <a href="https://rachels-organization-4.gitbook.io/study-of-interactive-fiction/" target="_blank">I wrote a class that would introduce him to interactive fiction</a>. That was pretty fun! We still haven't written an interactive fiction piece together but maybe that will change someday.</div><div><br /></div><div>After I got proper treatment for my sinus colonization, I started to get some of my energy back, just in time to start grad school in the fall. *checks 2022's post* Long story short: I was accepted into the English MA program at BYU (where I work). The department refused to accept any of my credits from when I completed the coursework for the program in 2009-2011, stating it was expired. I found great loopholes for them, including a case where another BYU student had proof of prior knowledge from their job accepted as credit for their PhD program. I decided to start the program from scratch. That included taking intro to graduate studies, which was mostly our professor telling us that if we were serious about going into a PhD program, we had better try to publish something. Meanwhile, my Mormon Esperanto Society article was accepted for publication with the <i>Journal of Mormon History</i>, and three articles I co-authored with my friend Michael Austin on the literary lessons in church publications and the history of Mutual Improvement associations were accepted for publication (one has already been published in <i>BYU Studies</i>). Mike helped me so much with my graduate studies. We have similar low tolerances for BS and sometimes it's a relief to know that you're not the only one who thinks a critical theorist is just spinning their wheels. He helped with my papers that I wrote for my graduate seminars too--I feel like his apprentice, but he says I'm his peer.</div><div><br /></div><div>My grandpa died in September, but I didn't get obsessed with grief like I did when my grandma died. Fall semester was jam-packed with work, classes, and homework. I had the experience, several times, of simply not having enough time to complete my reading assignments--something that is difficult for me and hadn't happened the first time I did my MA coursework. But we can consider this exposure therapy for my perfectionism (being forced to imperfectly perform the assignments and then realizing that the world didn't end). Another exposure therapy for my perfectionism and overactive sense of fairness happened at the end of the semester when my professor gave me a low grade on my paper. Oh well! You know what's more important? I'm happy with what I wrote and the research I did, because it was a topic I was actually interested in, and I explored it in a way that makes sense to me.</div><div><br /></div><div>As I look ahead to the new year, I wonder if I might dial down my intensity a little. The whole schedule where I get my daughters off to school, work/class until 5pm, dinner/clean/be with family until 7pm, do homework for 2.5 hours and get ready for bed at 9:30pm is possible, but it really stresses me out. I ended up taking off some Fridays from work to try to catch up on schoolwork. But what if I took off an hour or two in the mornings for homework? I don't have to be productive every minute of my day. </div><div><br /></div><div>That said, if I wanted to pile more stuff on, more stuff I could feel guilty for not doing, I have three things:</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Learn ASL so that I can teach Petra more signs. There is an app called Lingvano for that and I'm trying it out.</li><li>Find a way to make stretching and maybe some strength training part of my routine. My hip hurts and I'm too young for that. No amount of biking or walking is going to fix it.</li><li>Dedicate time to getting rid of stuff. We have too much stuff and I just keep procrastinating taking care of it. What if I spent an hour every Saturday just finding stuff we don't need.</li></ol><div>I feel like doing things things could actually decrease my stress in the long run, but I need a little push to put them on my attention radar. I have enough crazy plans for next year (I've got like... four presentations to prepare??). I need to remember to take care of myself, my family, and my stuff. I know some of you are thinking: "what about God?" You know, as someone with scrupulosity, I have spent a lot of time worrying about what God thinks and what is right. I have enough obsessive interest in God that it's not something I need to remind myself about with a resolution.</div></div>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-5160583602329563372023-01-13T20:32:00.002-08:002023-01-13T20:32:43.847-08:00I have OCD. Here's what that means in my case.<p>There's a place in the Old Testament where Jeremiah tells his people that they will be in bondage for the rest of their life. He<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> had just confronted a false prophet who was telling the people that they would be freed from bondage in two years. Jeremiah told the people that they won’t be free for another three generations, so they should start putting down roots–both in the form of orchards and in starting a family. God then reassures them that he will visit them after the “seventy years,” a shorthand for three generations. </span></p><p>I think of how hard that must have been for the Judah (the portion of the children of Israel in bondage). They didn't want to accept that they would be enslaved(?) for the rest of their lives. Who would want to accept that? </p><p>An anonymous author on Meatball Wiki wrote on the page for <a href="http://meatballwiki.org/wiki/LongNow" target="_blank">LongNow</a>:</p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: lato;"></span></p>To plant a vineyard or orchard is an act of faith that everything will still be OK decades hence.</blockquote><p>When I read that quote, I immediately connected it to the story in Jeremiah. I thought of how much faith Judah must have had to say, "I believe you, I will settle down and believe that everything will still be okay even though we're in a situation that at first glance, seems untenable." I cried a little bit (thankfully, my student employees were still on break). Because I am in bondage to my mental illness. </p><p>I was recently diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD can manifest in a lot of different ways. They start with a normal thought -> action resolution. Hands are dirty, clean them until they don't feel dirty anymore. Feel bad about something you said to someone, apologize, feel better. Except with OCD, the "feel better" part is never complete. </p><p>I don't have obsessions about contamination as OCD is frequently portrayed (compulsive handwashing, wearing gloves, etc.). My obsessions center around my self-worth, wanting to know if other people are okay with me, wanting God to make sense, and wanting to understand myself. Most of these obsessions center around "what if" questions. My therapist described these kind of obsessive loops as "rabbit holes" where "the more you think, the more confused you get." </p><p>My compulsions seems to come in three main flavors that I have identified so far: apologizing, confessing, and reassurance-seeking. This is one example of an OCD loop with confession:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiVexokvGs9jel8rNALzGPhjY7s_3u64UbAR2v3H1SV0YV2qMwsy7W0xLc4WQIn-rgEGdIyZZBt7qKkA39YZERfzpW6VoRiyNv_ffCnHi0EjrSTiPbqaf0sNrfFEp5H2pWzXlDv3sORfwU1yPw0KQHcCzd3yjzcOqbdQo78ucAegUJgqeSy-4A" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1583" data-original-width="1070" height="414" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiVexokvGs9jel8rNALzGPhjY7s_3u64UbAR2v3H1SV0YV2qMwsy7W0xLc4WQIn-rgEGdIyZZBt7qKkA39YZERfzpW6VoRiyNv_ffCnHi0EjrSTiPbqaf0sNrfFEp5H2pWzXlDv3sORfwU1yPw0KQHcCzd3yjzcOqbdQo78ucAegUJgqeSy-4A=w279-h414" width="279" /></a></div><br />Here is an example of one with wondering whether or not I have OCD:<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYTadheta5EZyhNiJnV3Rb-zUkz9WkiPMMRNweeXuMRftiVNv2btsy9UaImkuJEfrQ5bK1h1GoLO1VQYoaSkjueUS1vRFg1Yxa8OSs_Pyxwfq8ChcoydxVyhK7ICtBHsSatyIKRAjfCK0g7MKNubLu4SmWh3duDvie7-DyW5pdpVlwaHV7-Hw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1136" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYTadheta5EZyhNiJnV3Rb-zUkz9WkiPMMRNweeXuMRftiVNv2btsy9UaImkuJEfrQ5bK1h1GoLO1VQYoaSkjueUS1vRFg1Yxa8OSs_Pyxwfq8ChcoydxVyhK7ICtBHsSatyIKRAjfCK0g7MKNubLu4SmWh3duDvie7-DyW5pdpVlwaHV7-Hw" width="213" /></a></div><br />OCD is all in my head. That means that the cure is also all in my head. Breaking an OCD loop centers around stopping the obsession or stopping the compulsion. Stopping an obsessive thought means for me, recognizing when I am going into a rabbit hole and choosing to disengage by distracting myself (preferably with something neutral or productive). Stopping a compulsion means recognizing that when I feel like I have to do something, that it is probably a compulsion, and therefore I should make an effort to not do it. One of my problems is that the feeling of being compelled to do something is exactly the same as the feeling I have associated with the "promptings of the holy ghost." This is a giant problem and I am trying not to freak out about it. Luckily, there are multiple avenues to receiving revelation. I will just assume that the holy ghost will not communicate with me anymore in the way that my compulsions manifest.<p></p><p>People have told me that I have good insight into myself. It is something I am actually very bad at. That is one reason it took me so long to figure out that I have OCD. Another reason is because the stupid obsessions that OCD puts into my brain feel real and rational in the moment, and the compulsions sort of work. Another reason is because my OCD is mild compared to some people's. But as I learn more about OCD, I recognize more of it in my past. There is a certain way of thinking that is common with OCD sufferers, which maybe I'll get into in another post; the short version is, I used to pride myself in not being a black-and-white thinker, but my thinking actually defaults to black-and-white thinking most of the time. It can be difficult for me to accept uncertainty, paradox, and contradictions.</p><p>OCD is not something that I will ever be completely cured of. That is why I cried when I realized that Judah had to plant orchards while they were in bondage--because that is what I must do as well. </p><p>My friend Camilla is an artist. She is open about how scrupulosity, a form of religious OCD, affects her art. This piece is about how her OCD will be with her forever. </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfJc9bYRWXp02-qfE6_boNRyRrjNf55Ca6VT6v5Ls5k9oCe5QUF-jjnMXv7M3Q1j8W6w8KrPB-D9YCbaeTN9MLU51-oNZqMJwjcjZEqh8_jyvvR-1Wuns2ZiWTJiZLvxpQscZ62q93BDAcekNeROf057Hz-v6tJyYRkJ5h0YwlLzCbpm64uOo" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="407" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfJc9bYRWXp02-qfE6_boNRyRrjNf55Ca6VT6v5Ls5k9oCe5QUF-jjnMXv7M3Q1j8W6w8KrPB-D9YCbaeTN9MLU51-oNZqMJwjcjZEqh8_jyvvR-1Wuns2ZiWTJiZLvxpQscZ62q93BDAcekNeROf057Hz-v6tJyYRkJ5h0YwlLzCbpm64uOo" width="144" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Camilla Stark, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CTiNiaTBSvd/" target="_blank">"This Will Be With You Forever,"</a> 2021 piece in that business card art show in Provo</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><p></p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-37777085550969588912022-12-31T13:56:00.001-08:002022-12-31T14:13:31.781-08:002022 - Obsession and its consequences<p>I was kind of dreading looking back on this year, because I know that I have not been mentally well. I have tried to limit my description of my obsessive thoughts in order to protect the innocent, but if you play <i><a href="https://rwelean.itch.io/admiration-point" target="_blank">Admiration Point</a></i>, you can get a feel for what it has been like. As I look back, I notice that I wasn't always miserable. I was tired a lot (probably because I write in my journal right before bed), and I had obsessive thoughts, but I also made new friends and tried writing in new genres. I did some really fun research and found out some interesting things. </p><p>I continued to teach Sunday School for half of the year, and I read a lot of commentaries to try to understand what was going on in the Old Testament (spoiler alert: it is really complicated). "I'm down in the weeds, and am having trouble seeing the field." I've had a dedicated personal project day (with childcare and no work) once a week for most of the year. I have not been bored during this time. It felt like it wasn't enough! Halfway through the year we started trying to conceive another child, an attempt that makes awaiting my period every month a bit agonizing. </p><p>A big thank you goes out to my nannies and last-minute babysitters who make my work possible. </p><p>January - I resolved to ignore my obsessive feelings. I thought maybe they stemmed from feeling unfulfilled at work, despite enjoying my day-to-day work. I toyed with several ideas to remedy this problem, from the ridiculous to the doable. "My anxiety is WAY worse than normal and I'm not really sure what to do about it." I started taking omperazole again, often waking early in the morning with stomach pain. I washed a LOT of dishes by hand while our dishwasher was broken; our stovetop was also broken for a while. A lot of our family members got covid and we were constantly taking tests. "I'm starting to seem slight unmoored, but that isn't going to change, so maybe I can just lean into that for my own benefit." I had several successful meetings of small group Sunday school: "maybe I should start calling it snacking on the word of God."</p><p>February - I started writing <i>Admiration Point</i>. "Have I just gone so far off the deep end that I don't even try to stop myself anymore?" I started taking Lion's Mane supplements (stop rolling your eyes, there are clincal studies) and they completely helped my focus. "I know I am a weirdo and I simply must make the best of it." More dishes. Petra threw up a lot and everyone was sick. </p><p>March - I started playing getting back into playing guitar. I had my (second) sinus surgery. I watched a lot of TikTok during my recovery. "I'm ready to be healthy and useful again. But I think I need to wait another two days :(." I went to church without wearing a mask and started socializing more in larger groups. I watched <i>Turning Red</i> several times: "I'm not sure why, but I'm fascinated by the idea that my emotions could be a helpful, not a hurtful thing." I had "a wonderful day" where I worked on my game, started reading a book on Vardis Fisher, practiced guitar, played a visual novel, and made okonomiyaki with Adam. I felt jealous that Laura Bridgewater, BYU VP of academic affairs, "felt so sure that God didn't require her to stay home with her children. She literally had a GA tell her that" (I still have Mom guilt over not being a SAHM sometimes). </p><p>April - "must I bear the burning shame of being thoroughly aware of my MANY weaknesses?" "Should I feel guilty? Of the sin of fangirling too hard?" I started a monthly casual meeting at work that I called a charcuterie salon, because I figured being as bougie as possible could make people curious and want to come? It has actually been pretty successful. "I feel a flowering of creativity in my life." "I feel like my brain wants to write a LOT and it is starting to spill out in weird ways." I wrote and recorded <a href="https://youtu.be/MD514JyhMfw" target="_blank">a library parody version of the Echo Canyon song</a>. I read and loved <i>Heike's Void</i>. "It was in the seventies on my bike ride home today. I was listening to some French-Canadian folk music and it was a shining moment of bliss." I continued working on <i>Admiration Point</i> and doing some Mormon Esperanto Society research on the side. I saw a branching-story outdoor play in Salt Lake City. </p><p>"my solution was, instead of a battle of our egos that I would lose [...] was to devote myself entirely to his aims." </p><p>May - I started writing and publishing monthly library zines at work--my attempt to define work culture in my own image. It has been a very fun outlet. I compare it to Brandon Sanderson's librarians of Alcatraz series. Yes, it's a little juvenile, but in good fun and a productive mental break from my more serious writing. I saw my therapist who encouraged me to befriend the object of my obsessive thoughts (why??). I published <a href="https://www.arch-hive.net/post/becoming-scripturally-literate" target="_blank">an essay on how writing Wikipedia pages on church history has affected my faith on the ARCH-HIVE blog</a>. After finding out that the Mormon author Bela Petsco died, I attended his funeral and created Wikipedia pages for him and his most famous book. I felt that I was being haunted by him. I got to see the Mountain Goats in concert with friends! "I don't know what it is about men singing backup but it's like the feeling I get when I see a man holding a baby. Like, they're actually being supportive of someone else whole-heartedly." I contemplated studying for an MLS (I decided I didn't feel excited enough about it to dedicate two years of my life to that). I continued working on the Mormon Esperanto Society article ("How am I still finding stuff?")</p><p>June - I attended a pre-conference publication workshop for the Mormon History Association conference and the conference itself. I worked really hard to network! I got Claudia Bushman to sign my copy of <i>Mormon Sisters</i>. I met Michael Austin (Mike) in-person, and he promised to help me with my Mormon Esperanto Society article. We began our friendship through online chess games which chess.com described as "wild" (i.e., often it was not clear who the winner would be until the very end). I met a bunch of other people too, including my internet friend Makoto. I invited most of them to join the AML Discord, which has been enjoying a little growth from our efforts. AC approved the proposal for my job to change from 1/2-time to 3/4-time (this just means I work 4 days/week instead of 3). I kept working on <i>Admiration Point</i>, but I sometimes felt like I wanted to delete the whole thing "in a fit of shame." <i><a href="https://rwelean.itch.io/skillicks-bride" target="_blank">Skillick's Bride</a></i> was a finalist for AML's short fiction award! I got covid and my immediate family had to miss the vacation we planned with my parents, siblings, and niblings.</p><p>July - I was still recovering from covid but was well enough that we had Ada's baptism as scheduled. Mike told me that the Vardis Fisher Wikipedia page I wrote a few years ago was well-written. "It has been a pleasure for another scholar to take an interest in my work." "I feel at peace with my career and artistic achievements currently. Which probably means that something terribls is going to happen soon?" I was released from my church calling as Sunday School teacher and got called as the ward bulletin editor. On distributing the third library zine issue - "this is actually a good way for me to get more face time with library people." I flew to Ireland for the Wikipedia + Libraries conference, where I met a bunch of cool people and presented. "There was an amazing 8% cream yogurt at breakfast and I can't think of anything else." I also saw the Book of Kells and did other touristy stuff in Dublin, don't worry.</p><p>August - The pantry got flooded and we had to take everything out of it so the restoration people could take out the flooring and dry everything out. I hosted a baby shower for my sister-in-law. My parents watched my children while Adam and I went to Montreal for the International Esperanto Congress. I had the surreal experience of dancing to the YMCA song with people from around the world. I met a bunch of people I had only met online. It was so cool to meet other Esperantists in-person and discuss things with them. I bought so many Esperanto books! "My bahn mi had pate on it!" I participated in my friend's Adrift game jam, which was fun, but also, Adrift is so different from Twine. Mike was incredibly supportive of my fiction and non-fiction writing. Petra started going to a special-needs preschool. It's weird that I have no idea what she does there. I spent a weekend with college friends in Ohio, which was very fun, because my college friends are extremely funny. </p><p>September - I had a very painful time when my work friend, who also was the object of earlier-mentioned obsessive thoughts on my part, insisted on better boundaries and I mistook this as a request for no contact. "I found some hypnotherapy scripts for dealing with grief, but none for altering memory." My maternal grandpa died. I helped Mike to write a Wikipedia page for the Corianton film, and he continued to give me feedback on my writing. I used OpenRefine to upload a small test batch of data to WikiData! I finished up <i>Admiration Point</i> and started working more seriously on my Mormon Esperanto Society research. We finally got floor in our pantry. </p><p>October - Drove to my sister's in Albuquerque for a week, to make up for not seeing them when I had covid. <i>Admiration Point</i> received several in-depth reviews from being in the Interactive Fiction competition, which I attended to with great interest. I got a new phone and gave Ada my old one to replace her iPad that broke. I told Mike about the Relief Society General Board minutes being online and he OCR'd them all to make them text-searchable! Then I was like "Mike I wish you had been my thesis advisor!" and he was like "I bet that could be arranged." For my birthday, I looked at exhibits and Esperanto books in the library, ate sushi, hung out with my friends, and went to a music festival where I saw two of my favorite local bands, Little Moon and Goldmyth. "I can be sane again." </p><p>November - Mike floated the idea of someone doing a selected works of Alice Louise Reynolds collection for BCC Press, and my two coworkers who are doing an exhibit on her were very excited about this idea, and decided I should be a co-editor with them. I was telling another coworker how many graduate credits I had and she was like "that's enough for TWO master's degrees, you should go back and make them let you finish." I researched a lot of policies and emailed several people, but in order to even apply for a policy exemption, I need to be a current graduate student. So in a fit of madness I decided to apply for the English master's program at BYU (I completed coursework in 2011). I am still working on my writing sample for this. I got three professors to agree to be on my thesis committee, should I be accepted, and I have a preliminary topic: speculative theology in Mormon fiction from the home literature era (early 20th-century). There was a bunch of stupid drama where the graduate office told me that none of my hare-brained schemes would work and that they couldn't help me. I have not given up on the idea of getting some credit for my decade-old graduate classes. I went to the Church History Library and looked at old correlation committee meeting minutes, which weren't quite as exciting as I'd hoped, but still had some interesting tidbits. <i>Admiration Point</i> won 20th place in the Interactive Fiction Competition! </p><p>December - networked with more Mormon letters people at the Wayfare release party and the ARCH-HIVE scrupulosity show. I did some work on the Esperanto-USA search committee. Someone on Wikipedia started bullying me, and it reminded me of two years ago when I got taken to COIN, and I got very anxious about it. There were days I dreaded going to work because I didn't want to read more accusations against me. I'm still anxious about it. Luckily, my fellow editors have been supportive of me, but the feeling that someone is looking over my edits and waiting for me to make a wrong move is poop. Speaking of poop, there was more of it than normal coming from Petra, but thankfully, our prayers and a probiotic seemed to have fixed the problem. I ordered and received 19 volumes of the <i>plena verkaro de Zamenhof</i> (complete works of Zamenhof) from UEA. I just have a hunch that they could be useful in my future research on Esperanto culture. Mike responded to the reviewer's comments on our RS literary lessons article, and I did a little more research in the CHL (church history library). I hosted my parents for Christmas and we spent time eating, walking, and watching TV together. </p><p>I have a bunch of projects lined up for next year, including, hopefully, finishing my scholarly article on the Mormon Esperanto Society. If I am accepted to graduate school, that will take up my personal projects time, but if not, maybe I will be able to continue the far-future Wikipedia-like that I had started writing last January. I would also like to figure out how to control my own thoughts better, or not freak out about them, but I am also trying to accept that this might be a part of my personality, and I should instead find good outlets for my obsesssions. If you read this far, you can consider yourself one of my hardcore friends/fans. I hope you have a lovely new year. </p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-51151659474326398862022-05-15T19:12:00.002-07:002022-05-15T19:12:48.590-07:00Album review of WE<p>I have thoughts on <i>WE, </i>Arcade Fire's most recent release. I like to listen to albums as a whole and I think this one had a nice balance of slower songs with faster ones. There are common themes of introspection and wishing for change. Many songs are related to each other musically and make more sense as part of the album than as stand-alone songs. Overall, I don't think this album is better than <i>Neon Bible</i> or <i>The Suburbs</i>, but it is still very good.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjXBHQZtlU1gVuShh7XrwlRrN2RS7RV3fR09cS6zW8oHiD2QKVuJ_6HIo5V69f6EIPO9vz7mIQEwZKnbnLvhZp8TA3uUR8b_goKw6H9FKpna752CB4S5UrFBpADH7t4yhnfBqwr6CETjuWNeFMwVzYm-zo9YvA0aoZptZktXS6TAQ1E6Ip_SE8" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="450" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjXBHQZtlU1gVuShh7XrwlRrN2RS7RV3fR09cS6zW8oHiD2QKVuJ_6HIo5V69f6EIPO9vz7mIQEwZKnbnLvhZp8TA3uUR8b_goKw6H9FKpna752CB4S5UrFBpADH7t4yhnfBqwr6CETjuWNeFMwVzYm-zo9YvA0aoZptZktXS6TAQ1E6Ip_SE8" width="240" /></a></div><p></p><p>"Age of Anxiety I"</p><p>It would be easy for the anxious breath rhythm sounds to get annoying, but they give the chill song its anxious flavor. Halfway through, the song transforms into a more rhythmic meditation with lyrics about just trying to feel something. Anxiety or depression? Why not both.</p><p>"Age of Anxiety II (Rabbit Hole)"</p><p>This song follows a similar formula as "Age of Anxiety I" with a spare intro that goes into a more upbeat, traditional song. There are a lot more synths than I remember Arcade Fire having. The synth pads with a little distortion that makes them sound flat remind me of 80s music like Erasure. The addition of glockenspiel (I think?) reminds us that Arcade Fire used to be baroque pop. </p><p>"End of Empire I-III"</p><p>"It's not half bad. Spend half your life bein' sad. Don't be scared. Just chronically impaired. Just take my hand." Is this why Adam says my music is depressing? I find it cathartic. This is a sad ballad about saying goodbye to the American empire... or is it a breakup song? A harmonica and saxophone make an appearance. This is classic Arcade Fire sound, with Régine Chassagne occasionally octave doubling Win Butler's vocals, sweeping synthetic orchestra, and some real instruments mixed in. </p><p>I think the first song has the same chord progression as "The Suburbs", but twice as slow. An allusion, or just determination not to change a good thing?</p><p>"End of Empire IV (Sagittarius *A)</p><p>"I unsubscribe": is this all the power we have in this stupid world? I feel a rush of righteous anger with "fuck season five" but for what? What kind of weaksauce protest song is this? What happened to "I don't want to give you my name and address / I don't want to see what happens next / I don't want to live in America no more!" from <i>Neon Bible</i>'s "Windowsill"?</p><p>The backup vocals <a href="https://youtu.be/rAUpD4FchZI?t=133" target="_blank">at 2:14</a> remind me of something and I cannot figure out what; PLEASE tell me if you can figure out what other song they sound like.</p><p>"The Lightning I" </p><p>Compared to the other interesting music techniques on this album, this one feels simpler and a little generic. </p><p>"The Lighting II"</p><p>Reminds me of "Ready to Start" from <i>The Suburbs</i>. It's interesting how the same lyrical themes from "The Lighting I" are presented in a more urgent way. This is the most popular song on the album but I much prefer "Age of Anxiety I." </p><p>"Unconditional I (Lookout Kid)"</p><p>The first standalone song on the album gets back to the folk side of Arcade Fire. A peppy song about how it's okay to be sad and how a life without pain would be boring. I added it to<a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25vaUcH7h2pJErwlR3sITJ?si=b21c38a4421e49c6" target="_blank"> my "Affirmations" playlist</a>. A good bop and a message I can get behind.</p><p>"Unconditional II (Race and Religion)"</p><p>I'm confused at "I'll be your race and religion" being... a romantic offer? Is the idea that the singer is willing to give up their innermost identity of race and religion to be united with their lover? The beginning lyrics talks about how a street sign is a construct, so maybe this song is about trying to abandon those most ingrained "constructs" in the name of becoming "we". Kinda deep for an indie pop song, but still emotionally charged, which is <i>exactly what I want.</i></p><p>"WE"</p><p>A low-key, forgettable song, especially compared to "Unconditional II," but a nice way to close an intense album! </p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-19389290243992747412022-04-01T13:12:00.002-07:002022-04-01T13:12:30.388-07:00MATH ROCK<p> When I was recovering from my sinus surgery a month ago, I spent a bit of time watching YouTube videos on the history of popular music. I enjoyed <a href="https://youtube.com/c/SoundFieldPBS" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">videos from SoundField</a> on the history of blues and jazz. I would still like to watch videos on the folk revival of the 1970s, garage and riot grrl-like bands of the 1980s, and the evolution of electronic popular music in general. I watched the Soundfield video on hyperpop and it was extremely interesting! <i>OIL ON EVERY PEARL'S UN-INSIDES</i> sounds genuinely experimental and not just like someone was trying to be edgy.</p><p>I looked up a <a href="https://www.concerthotels.com/100-years-of-rock/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">chart on the evolution of popular music</a> and I saw a genre called "math rock." I listened to a playlist on Spotify and I really liked what I heard and found<a href="https://i.redd.it/io1mrzlbjy701.png" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> a flowchart on Reddit</a> that explains what to listen to next based on what you like about other bands. Weeks passed before I realized that Foals was on this flowchart. Yeah, the weird British punk band I told everyone was like Philip Glass for rock music. That's when I learned that minimalist rock music is called Math Rock. I'm not sure what the official definition is, but I read that Math Rock experiments with unusual time signatures and prioritizes musical textures over vocals or verses. They also seem to repeat arpeggiating chords a lot, like minimalism in classical music. Thanks to this little dive, I am catching up on the albums Foals released since <i>Antidotes</i> and I am enjoying them effortlessly. May your research dives into new genres be just as fruitful.</p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-33534055123269332152022-04-01T09:30:00.003-07:002022-04-01T09:30:44.175-07:00take the pressure off writing by convincing yourself that the stakes are low<p> I miss the age of blogs. I miss hearing from my friends about whatever random thing was on their minds and instead I must be satisfied with photos of their amazing bakes, pets and/or children. I was re-reading some of my old blog entries last weekend and reflecting on the blog era of my life from the aughts until sometime in the mid-2010s. I was also mining a friend's blog for their upcoming Wikipedia page as one does. It's a good thing that my friends who are still writing are publishing books and patreons and substacks instead of just giving their writing away. But nothing really captures the extemporaneous, um, rough edges of a person's thoughts in a more open, but intimate way like a blog post.</p><p>One of my goals for myself is to stop seeing my writing energy as a limited resource. If I come at writing with the attitude that my ideas are scarce, they will be scarce. But if I have an attitude of abundance-- confident in my ability to write multiple things at once and get more ideas than I have time to implement--somehow the ideas and the motivation to write keeps coming. </p><p>Speaking of coming from an attitude of abundance, I realized that after quitting and returning to my job over the pandemic, I have a different attitude toward my job. For one, working from home eroded all of my work-life barriers. I used to strictly try to not think about work off-the-clock. But now, I don't have the energy to care about that. I'm constantly e-mailing my work e-mail with ideas of articles to read or things to look at. For two, I have less fear. I know that if I disappear for six months that it doesn't matter, but that's empowering. Who cares if I e-mail the wrong person in my quest to get an answer to a trivial question? If I attract the ire of a harpist fanboy? It's insignificant and unimportant in the sense that it does not create capital for anyone involved, but that frees me to experiment and innovate. </p><p>There is another layer to the stakes being incredibly low at my job. I make about enough to cover what I pay my nannies. My husband's profits from his employee stock purchase plan were ten times what I made last year. But instead of feeling bad about it, maybe my attitude that my job is just a fun hobby can take some of the pressure I put on myself to do a good job. Thus I make another naval-gazing entry into my blog that I feel fairly confident no one will read. And I feel great about that.</p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-53082876808448986332021-12-31T11:12:00.002-08:002021-12-31T15:03:12.625-08:002021: Trying to fix my health problems<p>Hello to my superfans and bored acquaintances. Here is my year's summary:</p><p>January: I got a bit tired of my appearance. Adam gave me a shag cut that I really liked and have adopted as my new hairstyle. I did a bit of lockdown shopping (some of which was necessary), including trying out makeup. I guess I was just that bored. I wrote that even though I had changed my appearance, I felt the same. I told my boss I was quittting my job at the library, complete with a dramatic return of some fifty books I had been hoarding. Working from home without dedicated childcare was not making me happy. I published <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormon_foodways">Mormon foodways</a>. A. continued to dislike math and to like watching Sailor Moon. She lost her first tooth. P. got glasses. </p><p>February: I started a hypnotherapy app for my IBS called Nerva. I know, hypnotherapy?? It is evidence-based! And after three weeks of doing the hypnotherapy sessions every day, I started to have less pain. A hypnotherapy session is a lot like a meditation, only the suggestions are more forceful. So instead of "try to relax" it is like "you feel very relaxed now." According to their studies, it can work even if you are not usually susceptible to hypnotic suggestions. I did the six weeks of sessions and still have lasting reduction in IBS symptoms. I recommend it to everyone with IBS. I can take a little ibuprofen now without getting a stomachache.</p><p>With homeschooling A., I started checking out a LOT of books from the Provo city library to read to her for our various subjects. "Is this what it feels like to be a library power user?" I wrote after ordering enough books to overflow my two canvas bags. I actually enjoyed hunting for books more than reading them sometimes. Most of the time I simply read her picture books about science and folklore. Occasionally we had fun projects, like when we measured the air temperature in different places around the house, or when we made a fancy pretend café to practice addition and subtraction within 20. Or when I taught her how to "animate" a sprite in Scratch by drawing a Pusheen that sticks out her nose.</p><p>I played a lot of chess. I got tournament-standard sets and tried to teach A. some chess, but mostly it was a welcome diversion for me. I also worked on Space to Grow, the videogame I helped my sister and sister-in-law make. I finished writing the community endings in March (under the duress of frequent interruptions from A.).</p><p>We found out that P.'s genetic condition was not inherited. I also found out that one of my most vocal critics on Wikipedia last year had died earlier this year.</p><p>March: I finally got antibiotics for a sinus infection that started in February, but I was pretty tired and grumpy all month because the antibiotics did not cure my infection. I hosted my sister and two of her kids for my little brother's wedding. I went to my in-laws' for Sunday dinner for the first time in a while and looked forward to more in-person events. I started getting physical therapy for my tennis elbow. I started drinking Rasa, an herbal energy drink, to help with my fatigue. I read some comic books to help as a judge for the Association for Mormon Letters. </p><p>April: I panic-bought some Vita games after hearing that the PS store would be closing later in the year (Sony has since changed that after fans protested a lot). I made a few pysanki (Ukranian eggs made by melting wax onto them and dying them) that unfortunately got destroyed by my dog when I left them outside to air after I sprayed varnish on them. We discovered that P. is allergic to sesame. I played a bunch of strangers in chess and got annoyed with a type of chess player who only wants to play women for some reason. I played more than one of this kind of player. I bought some dice and the My Little Pony TTRPG to play with A. I also signed A. up for Girl Scouts. I started to miss my job. I actually finished reading a book after losing interest in reading over the pandemic. The book was <i>Ninth House</i>. I got fully vaccinated.</p><p>May: We hosted my brother and his family for a week while they moved into a condo in Utah. We mostly just hung out at home a lot. Sometimes with toddlers that is the least-stressful option. My laptop died. I felt pretty sad about that. More of the same homeschooling, taking P. to physical therapy, occupational therapy, or speech therapy, and trying to keep up with housework. I met with my friends in-person. I started playing the idle/adventure game <i>The Longing</i> about a soot goblin who must wait a year to awaken his sleeping god/king. A world of being alone for days on end felt like a fantasy world to me. I had a platelet injection done on my arm to help with my tennis elbow, but I fainted when they drew the blood and felt terrible afterwards. We had a very successful Esperanto club meeting where we played frisbee golf. I got a fancy new desktop. We met together with Adam's family for their traditional May birthday gathering called second Christmas. </p><p>June: We vacationed in Escalante with my brother's and sister's families. It was really fun. I wasn't sure if I could make it through spooky gulch... I don't usually get claustrophobic, but I was feeling it then! P. didn't come with on that hike, but A. did, and she survived, haha. I hired two nannies and went back to work! To my same job as a Wikipedian-in-Residence. My boss happened to not hire my replacement in the five months I was gone and I was never officially terminated. I went to a few sessions of the Esperanto-USA convention and helped <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nC1Fg0vx_X31Stzk-fo4KfV8yFe81U0uFgS48YHLgxI/edit?usp=sharing" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">collect resources for Esperanto e-books</a> for one of the sessions. I went on a few dates outside the house with Adam.</p><p>July: We spent time with Adam's family over the fourth of July weekend. I worked on Space to Grow during my "personal projects day", a weekly day off from parenting meant to focus on my creative work. I felt like it wasn't enough time to really work on stuff. I got called as gospel doctrine teacher in my ward. I stopped being interested in chess as much, but I still participated in an amateur tournament in-person with my sister-in-law. I think I beat one person, haha. I wrote a page for the <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventh_East_Press">Seventh East Press</a>. </i>I did some thinking about having a third child and why I don't like being a mom sometimes. I went to an ENT who tried to tell me my pain was coming from my jaw until he saw my CT scan, after which he recommended sinus surgery. </p><p>August: I went to the NASK (North American Summer Class) advanced course for Esperanto. Tim Owen taught it and he is something of an Esperanto scholar. He lectured in Esperanto and gave us a few activities. It was fun to see his research and ephemera on Zamenhof and the Esperanto movement. I had an extended family reunion at Bear Lake, although mostly I hung out with my sister and her family. My brother had a wedding reception. A. and I got our allergies tested. I tested positive for allergies to peanuts and tree nuts, which really bummed me out. The allergist said it was oral allergy syndrome and I started sublingual drops to treat my allergies (my hope is that it will help with my sinus problems too). Adam's immediate family had a staycation--a whirlwind of activities that I somehow managed to mostly participate in. We had been going to church as a family, but with the Delta variant going around, we decided to switch off keeping P. home since we have no idea what Covid would be like for her. A. started second grade--quite an adjustment after being homeschooled for a year.</p><p>I was honest with myself in my journal about my maternal depression. I had hoped that going back to work would "fix" me, but it did not. I still try to avoid parenting my children a lot, but I also try to avoid outright neglecting them (at least their physical needs). I feel like I can't fulfill all of their emotional needs, but luckily I don't have to. I feel very grateful to babysitters and family members who are willing to sit with my children and listen to them when I'm not up to it.</p><p>September: I did a lot of research for my gospel doctrine class and I wrote "I am starting to realize that the members of my class may not have as many questions as I do. So I might be overdoing the research." We enjoyed delicious tomatoes from our garden. I went on a retreat to Park City with my friends. I did a journaling program for being "happy as a mother". I questioned the assumption that such a thing is possible for all mothers, but by the end of the month, I felt like the journaling prompts were really helpful. The daily prompts helped me feel more gratitude and examine my own assumptions and expectations about motherhood. P. finally started drinking from her straw cup. I had my sinus surgery. I watched the Twilight movies during my recovery and I can confirm that Edward is a selfish jerk. I think <i>Space to Grow</i> got its Steam release somewhere in September. I remember pushing a button somewhere to release it in two weeks, maybe back in August? I sent out <i>several</i> awkward emails to strangers to tell them about the game. I can't say that I really understand how to market a videogame, but we did have over 100 sales this year. People <i>paid money </i>to play a game that I helped with. That's a nice feeling.</p><p>October: I was the "groundskeeper" or dungeon master for a game of <i>Bluebeard's Bride</i> with some friends. I really liked the themes of feminine horror and I wrote a Mormon feminine horror Twine game based on it which I called <i><a href="https://rwelean.itch.io/skillicks-bride" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Skillick's Bride</a></i>. "The decision to focus on women's suffering is such a clarifying one." My sinuses got infected after the recovery period and I had to take a lot of medicine for that (and the infection is still present). "Joseph Smith owned MUMMIES. It's blowing my mind." I read some of <i>The Tanners on Trial </i>for my work on the William Clayton page, and it was full of juicy, if cherry-picked, gossip about the Mormon underground in the late 1980s. My parents visited us for Halloween, which was fun. We tried to bake some of the giant pumpkins that I grew. </p><p>November: We all got sick. I judged games for the <a href="https://ifcomp.org/comp/2021">Interactive Fiction Competition</a> (IF Comp). Anyone can be a judge, as long as you rate five games. This was kind of a fun exercise in reading other people's hobby projects. There is a lot of interesting experimentation going on out there. A. got into playing Minecraft. We visited my parents in California for Thanksgiving. I was worried about getting P. to wear a mask on the plane, but luckily, she still looks and acts like an infant and no one asked about it. </p><p>December: I did some meditation stuff for two weeks to try to manage my stress. I tried to reduce my social media use, with some success. P. had eye surgery. A. got a little sick after her second Covid vaccine shot and Adam and I felt slightly miserable after our Covid boosters. I made candied orange peel for the first time. A. got diagnosed with ADHD-combined type based on surveys that Adam and I filled out. I watched lots of the Great British Bake-off and presented at the BYU library Christmas conference on the similarities between the ideals of Joseph Smith and Zamenhof (creator of Esperanto). I actually gave my Esperanto club a preview of the presentation and tried doing it in Esperanto, so presenting in English was comparatively easy. I continued to worry about over-intellectualizing my gospel doctrine lessons. Our dishwasher and our induction cooktop both broke. I received some nice gifts for Christmas and spent the break reading them and generally lying around and hanging out with family and friends. </p><p>Games I played (but may not have finished)</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Amrilato - a visual novel that teaches Esperanto in a very boring way! Gxg.</li><li>Spiritfarer - a game like Zelda with less combat and more helping characters find closure.</li><li>Cozy Grove - a cute game about reviving ghosts on an island, but that became very grindy. </li><li>The Longing - existential idle/adventure game</li><li>Tell Me Why - your character, a trans man, investigates the motivations and circumstances surrounding his mother's death and his relationship with his sister.</li><li>Psychonauts 2 - Solve people's problems by going inside their brains and platforming there.</li><li>Fallen London - an old-school browser-based RPG that is somehow still going. The writing is dark and entertaining and the setting is very much filled-out; the references to "tomb-colonists" and philosophical spiders are not just a passing jokes. A bit too grindy to hold my attention for more than a month. </li><li>Sunless Sea - Another game set in the Fallen London universe, but you are a sailor on the underzea. Good, bizarre fantasy horror writing. I found the resource-management stressful and boring at the same time.</li><li>The Luminous Underground - an interactive fiction piece published by <i>Choice of Games</i>. It was nominated for a nebula award! The story was interesting, and the writing was good, but it was a slow burn that fizzled out before I finished.</li><li>Animal Crossing New Horizons - I enjoyed the new DLC that added cooking and the opportunity to buy more art.</li><li>Life is Strange: True Colors - a girl with the power to sense people's emotions investigates her brother's death and her own feelings. A worthy addition to the Life is Strange series.</li><li>It Takes Two - A cute co-op puzzle-platformer. I just started it.</li><li>A Rose of Winter - An fantasy otome game that has a western art style and music by Toby Fox! The routes are very short, but they defy typical dating game tropes and challenge the player to reflect on romantic love in various weird forms.</li></ul><p></p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-72676670844582808042020-12-31T13:58:00.008-08:002021-12-31T10:44:56.174-08:002020: Uncovering P's special needs and homeschooling<p>Overall, it has been a very difficult year. I almost didn't want to do my year in review because I just wanted to forget everything about it. We didn't go to the Universala Kongreso (international Esperanto convention), because it was cancelled. I was successfully a head judge for the novel category for Association for Mormon Letters (AML), the top-secret project I mentioned in the 2019 post. I've agreed to help any volunteers learn how to edit Wikipedia for AML.</p><p>P's special needs changed a lot of things. It made it so I didn't want to send A to school this year, or P back to daycare. Honestly, I'm probably high-risk for covid as well, with two bouts of pneumonia and a partially-collapsed lung in my medical history. This has made everything more difficult. </p><p>I kept up Esperanto club meetings and my monthly movie afternoons. The highlights of my year have been the times where I socialized with other people or went somewhere outside my house. The ARCH-HIVE Discord has been a pillar of my social life, and my social media use is very high. I don't have a lot of other outlets for talking to people, which isn't something I thought I needed very much before.</p><p>I have so many projects that I want to do. I want to create an Esperanto curriculum for homeschoolers. I want to make a zine series about internet literacy. I want to finish working on the videogame with my sister. I want to make new games. I want to play weird old games and write blog posts about their design. When I think about all this content creation I have in mind though, it feels like I have no focus. Why did I start those Instagrams? What is the point of sending my writing into the void of episodic internet content feeds? I feel like I need my online writing to have more focus. On the other hand, if it's just a hobby, than what am I getting so upset about? I miss the days of just having two blogs to update, instead of having all this social media that has to link to it and image editing and all that stuff. But after watching successful artists on Instagram, having a purchasable product makes things more permanent and gives consumers a way to express their support. That's the attraction of zines to me--when writing is physical, even if it is amateurish, we value it more and take more time to look at it.</p><p>I'm not really going to make myself goals for next year, besides simply continuing homeschooling for A and special needs care for P. If I manage to do other things at the same time, that's great. If I just end up watching a bunch of Netflix and reading a few fantasy novels, that's okay too. I hope you are healthy and safe in 2021. Here's the month-by-month rundown:</p><p>January - read comics, had a lot of disturbed sleep, and played <i>Oceans</i> and <i>My Little Scythe</i> board games. I think I want to have reading comics in January be a tradition, at least for myself. I finished reading books for judging the AML novel category. Caught all the Pokemon in <i>Pokemon Shield</i> with the help of my sister-in-law.</p><p>February - P was in the hospital with RSV for five days. This was a bit of a turning point. I tried pumping and realized that she wasn't getting any milk out of me and stopped breastfeeding her. I also realized that she was developmentally delayed. I started worrying that she had a neurodegenerative disease (some babies with hypotonia die of this a few years after birth). We enrolled her in Early Intervention. Adam and I got to see the Little Moon album debut concert!</p><p>March - P got her helmet to make her head symmetric and I started meeting with specialists. We took a quick trip to San Diego for Adam's friend's wedding! I insisted on going to the beach a few times. I remember leaving work mid-March and taking a bunch of books home in case I could work from home and crying because I knew everything would change. It was difficult to change. I got A her own iPad and I really enjoyed playing the new Animal Crossing with two of my good friends. I started taking medicine for chronic stomach pain. We started doing home church with both sides of our family.</p><p>April - I got a rush from finding flour at the supermarket! I made psyanki for the first time, inspired by my friend Betsy's tutorial. I felt really sad when P's daycare told me they wouldn't hold her spot any longer. I woke up at 1am to look at meteors with A, but we didn't see any. I bought a double ocarina and started learning to play it. Made a bunch of bells on the stalk market (animal crossing)!</p><p>May - "A didn't do her homework until 3pm. Oh well! Who cares!" We celebrated Star Wars day and watched the original trilogy with A. I backed up files from two old computers onto our new media PC and gave away the old computers. I couldn't get StepMania (the PC version of Dance Dance Revolution) to work on our new media PC, which was disappointing. After P's swallow study, we started thickening her liquids, which helped clear up her chronic congestion. My mom started reading with A over Zoom every weekday. I started keeping my journal in Esperanto. Somewhere in here I started <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rachel.helps.eo/">Esperanto</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/helpsful.reviews/">book review</a> Instagrams. I got a cute new office chair.</p><p>June - I tried a non-diary diet to help with my stomach problems. It didn't help. We got a new purple mattress (it was incredibly heavy). A had her birthday, which included sleeping in our backyard in a tent with Adam. I got ahold of a copy of Ring Fit and started using it for exercise. P's MRI results came back unremarkable. Sometime over the summer my in-laws started coming three times a week to help watch the kids while I worked.</p><p>July - I attended a two-week long intensive Esperanto class. It was fun to meet new people and work on our Esperanto together. I got an endoscopy which came back normal. I bought the biggest and heaviest-duty swingset I could find online. I got a big PDF of all the issues of Esperanto Mormonaro and skimmed them all to find out about the history of the organization. We vacationed with my parents and siblings and their children in an airBnB in Holladay. It was so nice to visit with family, play games together and go on hikes together. I started doing some exercises in a chronic pain management app I found. I started doing some homeschool-like things with A and I enrolled her in My Tech High.</p><p>August - I decided on some curricula to try for homeschooling and we started getting into a homeschooling routine (start after lunch, at 1pm, and go until 3pm, which is tea time). I started taking P to an in-person physical therapist, and we started patching her eyes to help with their weakness. A had some dental work done. I had to move my office at work from special collections to administration. There were many times where I couldn't work because I had to go grocery shopping or take P to a specialist. Thanks to an exercise from the chronic pain app, I realized that I was feeling miserable about mothering P and decided to find a therapist. </p><p>September - I bought some roller skates for me and A and we went out and skated on them a few times! A is still very timid about skating, but I enjoy it (it's just a lot of trouble to get out on them somehow). I started seeing a therapist for my depression. I was happy to find that <i>Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun</i> goes longer than the anime and thoroughly enjoyed it... except it hasn't ended yet! We found out that P has a rare chromosome duplication that explains her hypotonia and developmental delays. I started meeting with my sister-in-law once a week, and occasionally with a fellow homeschooling mom.</p><p>October - I joined a group for parents of rare chromosome mutations. We started going to sacrament meeting online. We got sick of homegrown tomatoes (but we really enjoyed them all of September!). We went to an airBnB up the canyon for a change of pace. I enjoyed Halloween, even if we didn't have as much socializing as normal.</p><p>November - I met with a geneticist about P.'s condition but she didn't have any additional insights. She was able to order genetic testing for me and Adam though, so we can at least know for sure if the mutation was de novo (new with her) and not inherited from us. If one of us does have weird genes, that could explain my fertility problems though. Stress from work started to bleed into my personal life when another editor questioned the validity of my editing as a BYU employee, and continues to this day. We started doing more puzzles and I got started on Christmas shopping really early (hello anxiety!).</p><p>December - After having a very pleasant Thanksgiving break, I realized that I was so burnt out at work from trying to fit in work in 3-hour segments, constant interruptions from my children, and the latest complaints about my work on a forum (to be fair, it's a vocal minority). I put in my notice of resignation, but continued trying to tie up loose ends. There are still a few things I'm hoping to finish in the first two weeks of January. In homeschooling, I found some new math curricula to try (Singapore Math and Living Math) and ordered/printed the necessary materials. I made little packages to send to my siblings and siblings-in-law to make up for not being able to meet in-person this year. I also made a choose-your-own-adventure Christmas zine! It was fun but also I wish I knew a better way to do it (other than printing out the document, cutting it up, gluing it in the right format, scanning it, cleaning the scan, and then reprinting).</p><p><br /></p>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-38204757974241222322019-12-31T14:02:00.002-08:002019-12-31T14:03:28.299-08:002019: Pregnancy and birth of P-chanSo last year around this time I did not do a year-end post. I was pregnant and my husband got really sick while we were visiting my sister and we got in a car accident on the way back and we were happy to survive (no one was hurt in the accident). That was how 2019 started! We hosted an exchange student, Giulia, and she taught us a lot about Italy and Italian culture, and we talked to her in English a lot. She bravely kept going to school when we were very low energy at the beginning of the year! I struggled to find energy to work on the videogame I've been helping to write with my sister, <i>Space to Grow</i>, but I did work on it. We held Esperanto club almost every month, with some gaps when P-chan was born. I think we had movie afternoon every month too. A-chan waking us up early was a constant struggle, though luckily after the baby she learned how to turn on the TV by herself.<br />
<br />
January was really hard. Adam was sick and having trouble driving and my morning sickness was at its worst. I forced myself to go to work because the thought of being stuck at home was depressing to me. I even worked from home for a week. It was difficult to go grocery shopping because of all the smells (thank you, mint gum!). I didn't throw up when I was watching TV and I watched a LOT of Netflix: Jane the Virgin, The Good Place, Stranger Things, and Call the Midwife were some of my favorites. We sold our Toyota and bought a hybrid minivan in anticipation of the baby (somehow we did this even though neither of us wanted to drive very much).<br />
<br />
I found more of a good balance between medicine and coping strategies in February to get to the point where I wasn't throwing up as much. Every day I went to work I ate lunch at the MOA cafe: their grilled cheese and pesto sandwich plus the very berry salad. I could not stand the smells in the break room and just putting together a lunch in the morning made me gag. At work I hosted an edit-a-thon to create pages for children's books that have won the Coretta Scott King Award and it was moderately successful. My OB/GYN was not very sympathetic to my misery and I had cravings for waterfall salad/Nam Tok and Okonomiyaki.<br />
<br />
In March I was still exhausted but it became my new normal and I think I scaled back on my activities and expectations a bit. I met some friends of my friends and maybe now we are friends? We found out that I was pregnant was a girl. The fetus was kind of stuck with its head by my hip and they wanted another ultrasound from the hospital. We visited my family in California for spring break and Giulia was very busy completing some unfair graduation requirements, but we got her to see the Pacific Ocean, the Golden Gate Bridge, and Muir woods. I felt very comforted by my mom's cooking!<br />
<br />
In April I started a free Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program. It's <a href="https://palousemindfulness.com/index.html">this Palouse mindfulness site</a> and it was something I could do on my own from home and I think it helped me cope with my pregnancy. I did the first five weeks of the course. I was a bit worried when I had to go in for the specialist ultrasound, but it turned out everything was perfectly normal, except my baby didn't want to move from my hip, haha. I went home early from work one day because I wasn't feeling well and I got pulled over for expired registration and I cried a LOT it was embarrassing. I made my daughter go to her music lessons even when she didn't feel like it. "I tried sitting meditation for 30 minutes... longest 30 minutes of my life!" I feel like I got better at meditation over time and it helped me to cope with some miserable days. We hid Easter eggs for Ada and she LOVED it. Giulia wanted to hike the Y, and somehow we did it!<br />
<br />
A-chan started to play more videogames with me, particularly <i>Yoshi's Crafted World. </i>Giulia's parents visited us when she graduated in May. We communicated through Giulia and Google translate! Her graduation was bittersweet. Giulia came with us to do Cavan's escape room with some friends, which was cool and fun. We hosted a goodbye party for Giulia. In June we drove to Lake Tahoe for an extended family reunion, which was fun. One of my favorite parts was playing The Great Dalmuti with my cousins. We threw a party for A-chan's birthday, which she was excited about for a long time. She stayed with her Utah cousins while Adam and I went to Boston for Narrascope, where I met some other people working in narrative games and attended some amazing presentations. I also had a crab roll for the first time! I played <i>The House in Fata Morgana</i> and some of <i>Baba is You</i>. Adam's parents returned from their mission in Scotland. I continued to deal with the discomforts of pregnancy.<br />
<br />
In July my nesting instinct kicked in or I simply wanted to be ready for the baby and we got shelves installed in the garage, moved things around and got rid of some furniture, and moved A-chan's room to make room for the nursery. My OB/GYN told me P-chan was breech and I tried lying on an ironing board at an angle and other ridiculous things (and bent up my ironing board in the process). My sister and her kids visited. One morning I started throwing up and went to the hospital, but my labor wasn't starting, I was just throwing up from a stomach bug or something.<br />
<br />
P-chan was born in August and everything was fine. My mom stayed with us a week and helped A-chan adjust. Recovering and having my milk come in was painful and it took a long time to get my strength back. P-chan has been a very easy baby and this is a great blessing. I had some post-partum anxiety, like worrying that a spider would bite my baby, or not wanting to start doing anything because I felt like I needed to be ready to take care of her at any moment!! But I was pretty aware of it. We had some permaculture gardeners plan and re-landscape our front yard, which I have promised to be responsible for. It was expensive, but I hope that it will be nicer than a lawn in the long run. A-chan started afternoon kindergarten. We played <i>Knights and Bikes</i> together when it came out and she loved it. Somewhere in here I joined<a href="https://www.arch-hive.net/"> the ARCH-HIVE</a>.<br />
<br />
In September I was still on maternity hiatus but starting to get used to having a baby. I had very low expectations of my abilities and I had a few pity parties. A-chan showed some some symptoms of being stressed out and we set up some rewards for her accident-free days. P-chan started taking bottles in anticipation of me going back to work in October. I found a book on historical theology and wondered why no one told me about this before? I had a frantic stressful week searching for childcare and found an arrangement that would work.<br />
<br />
In October I went back to work!! Working was the easy part, haha. The hardest part was that P-chan cried in the car on her way to and from daycare. I started listening to Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast, which I really enjoy. I made an Esperanto friend through Amikumu, and we started chatting on WhatsApp to practice my Esperanto. It's very good listening/speaking practice. Since WhatsApp is asynchronous, I can listen more than once and look up a word or two if I need to for my response. My high school friend Geoff came to visit us and it was fun to catch up with him.<br />
<br />
P-chan got pretty sick in November, but recovered. I enjoyed playing <i>Return of the Obra Dinn</i> and started working on a top-secret volunteer project. I cleaned up after and Adam caught a mouse in our house and I can no longer look at black lint in the same way. I got pretty sick the latter half of the month, which lasted until after the first week of December, which was miserable. During that time we hosted lots of family for P-chan's baby blessing. Thanksgiving was fine, but since I was sick afterwards Christmas preparations felt a little rushed. A-chan watched me play Pokemon a lot. I dialed back my attendance to Christmas festivities but did go to two parties. My parents came to visit for Christmas and we had a fairly good time, even though we all got a little sick and didn't eat much.<br />
<br />
Looking back on the year, it seems like I was sick a lot, or complained about my health in my journal a lot. I hope that in 2020 I can start driving my cargo bike more places and improve my health. I want to focus on finishing <i>Space to Grow </i>and my top-secret volunteer project at the beginning of the year, and continue to study Esperanto in anticipation of going to the Universala Kongreso in August. That's the biggest meeting in the Esperanto movement where people meet from all over the world! We are still trying to teach A-chan some Esperanto... we'll see how that goes. I want to revitalize our local club but I'm not sure the best way how. I'll keep thinking about my New Year's resolutions and write them down in my jounal.Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-49632610079384131982017-01-02T14:51:00.001-08:002017-01-02T14:55:08.307-08:002016: year of Wikipedia and EsperantoMy last post was my retrospective on 2015. My part-time job as coordinator of Wikipedia initiatives fulfills my pressing need to write things, so I hardly blogged at all.<br />
<br />
Working part-time has helped me have a life outside being a mom/housewife. I joke that my job is like taking a break from being a mom, and it really feels that way most of the time. Finding childcare for Piper was one of the biggest challenges with my job, and I'm so grateful for my friends/neighbors/relatives who helped watch her. I think 2.5 might be easier than 1.5, because Piper can actually tell me what she wants know instead of having a crying fit when I can't figure it out.<br />
<br />
In the spring I started bicycling to work as well, and I felt very emotionally and physically healthy--I think my health has been fairly good in 2016. I also generally enjoy my work, which consists of creating and editing pages related to the special collections in the Harold B. Lee library, as well as finding out what articles curators and librarians think I and my two student workers should improve. I've also been doing some promotion of Wikipedia editing within BYU. In October we held a Mormon Foremothers edit-a-thon. We also nominated lots of pages for the Did You Know feature to help new pages get more visibility.<br />
<br />
Working with Wikipedia, I've gained a lot of respect for the volunteers who work to maintain Wikipedia. I also have a healthy dose of skepticism for things I read there! I hope that Wikipedia can attract enough to editors to sustain itself.<br />
<br />
Favorite videogames this year: <i>Stardew Valley</i>, <i>Life is Strange</i>, <i>Rocksmith 2014</i>, <i>Rhythm Heaven Megamix, Zero Time Dilemma, ABZU, </i>and <i>Pokemon Moon</i>. Oh, and <i>Final Fantasy XV.</i><br />
<br />
other things I remember happening in 2016:<br />
-visited San Diego with my parents and siblings and Piper's cousins. We visited the San Diego zoo and Adam got something called "hell's itch" from a medium sunburn. I wish I had spent more time on the beach!<br />
-visited my parents in California. It's interesting to see different sides of my parents when they interact with Piper.<br />
-vacationed with Adam's family in a cabin by Cottonwood Canyon<br />
-My older brother got married. Exciting!<br />
-I learned Esperanto well enough to read a novella-length book for beginners. It was really motivating, considering that I only studied for a little bit each day in my spare time. I did finish the <a href="https://www.duolingo.com/">Duolingo</a> course, which was pretty good.<br />
-I helped plan the yearly stake Relief Society retreat, and even though I didn't do very much, it was still kind of stressful?<br />
-Piper tried to climb out of her high chair and had to get stitches. That was a long night in the ER.<br />
-kept up monthly movie nights thanks to my friends<br />
-Midnight Blues, a mobile RPG project I was working on with my husband and some of his siblings and friends, went on hiatus. I think our group of people working on it was too big, or it was difficult to figure out what needed to be worked on next.<br />
-I bought a guitar and learned chords with <i>Rocksmith 2014 </i>for a few months. <i>Rocksmith 2014</i> is like the videogame <i>Guitar Hero</i> except you use a real guitar instead of a pretend controller. It was really fun, but I don't think I have time for it now. I have a lot more respect for rock musicians now.<br />
-my parents visited us for Christmas, which was fun.<br />
-Adam felt sick a lot.<br />
<br />
<br />
Goals for 2016:<br />
Family work:<br />
-keep up with meal plans. It makes me less stressed out about what to make for dinner, even if it does mean sitting down and planning for an half an hour to an hour each week.<br />
-continue to encourage Piper to eat something other than Macaroni and Cheese. Limit "screen time"??<br />
<br />
Languages:<br />
-about four months ago I bought a lifetime subscription to WaniKani, a kanji flashcard system. I studied kanji with it pretty regularly for about two years, but stopped when I got pregnant with Piper. Now that I've been using my mobile phone more, I find it very easy to do 10-20 reviews several times a day when I have a spare minute. I've been learning 10 new kanji/vocab words every day through it. I'm hoping to keep that up!<br />
<br />
-Adam bought me some Japanese Skype tutoring for Christmas. We'll see how this goes (i.e., part of me is like "this is scary also what will Piper do"), but I'm hopeful that I can start practicing more spoken Japanese.<br />
<br />
-Esperanto is probably going on the back-burner for a while. But I like it.<br />
<br />
Creative endevours:<br />
-work has started on <i>Our Personal Space</i> <i>2 </i>(working title)! It's going to be a stat-raising game where you raise your children on a colony on a foreign planet. My sister is directing the project and I hope that I can write lots of things for it!<br />
<br />
Spirituality:<br />
-My scripture study was in a stupor. I realized that for so long I have just been reading scriptures because they were "good" for me without reflecting on or really understanding much of what I was reading, with the exception of a few moments of inspiration here and there. So yeah, I took a break from reading scriptures every day, because I had gotten into a bad habit with it. I still read scriptures, but in other contexts that are more meaningful to me. When I prepared my Book of Mormon lessons for Primary, I tried to actually understand what was going on, which was genuinely difficult for me in some parts. One week I read the book of Esther from an NIV study Bible with commentary, and I appreciated the story more than I ever had before.<br />
<br />
I know that as Mormons, we want to make the scriptures accessible to anyone, so we don't have any official commentaries on the scriptures (like a study Book of Mormon or something). But I personally find it a lot more meaningful to know the historical and cultural contexts for scriptures. I like reading commentary from scholars, and it helps me appreciate the scriptures more. So my goal is to keep finding religious works that inspire me and help me further understand the scriptures in Mormon canon.<br />
<br />
Social:<br />
-I feel like I've been keeping up fairly well with getting to know the people in my ward, now that we've lived here a year and a half. If I suddenly got sick and had to stay in the hospital for a week, I'm confident that a few people could help take care of me and my family.<br />
<br />
I wish you all a happy new year and I hope that if you make goals that you can find effective ways to incrementally get closer to them.Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-1499873314124096172016-01-01T11:31:00.003-08:002016-01-01T11:33:49.617-08:002015: Moving to Provo and learning to cope with toddler lifeJanuary - Lots of house planning meetings. I made a delicious Bolognase sauce. I played DDR pretty regularly to stave off cabin fever. Piper rolled down the stairs but Adam caught her!<br />
<br />
February - We practiced using our pizza steel. I went on a hike with Joshua, and Koko got bitten by another dog on the way back. More house building stuff. I hurt my ulnar nerve doing some improper weight lifting. My sister released <i>Our Personal Space</i> and I helped with the publicity for it. For Valentine's Day Adam and I stayed at a room in the Hines mansion, but we brought Piper along so it wasn't especially relaxing, but it was exciting. We started watching the <i>Great British Bake-Off</i>.<br />
<br />
March - Piper got lots of teeth and learned to crawl.. I was tired a lot. We started a videogame project with some family/friends that we're calling <i>Midnight Blues</i>. We moved from Spanish Fork to Provo: "There was SO MUCH STUFF hiding in the cupboards. I knew it was all there but I didn't think it would take so long to pack!"We had so much help from friends, family, and neighbors. It felt like a miracle that everything got moved, especially since we had to go back for another load (how do people know how big of a truck they'll need?). Lots of unpacking and getting to know our new neighbors and ward.<br />
<br />
April - My parents visited for Easter. "I can't say I enjoyed conference much this year because it seems I was taking care of Piper for most of it. Then I had trouble concentrating because I was so tired." I felt stressed out about things I couldn't control. We were still getting settled into our new house (we bought a new media cabinet with doors and food for the pantry, things like that).<br />
<br />
May - Adam made me breakfast and lunch for Mother's day, and he cleaned up afterwards. I was a snob about church stuff but I tried not to be a jerk about it. I went for walks with people in the ward. I wrote a bunch of background lore for <i>Midnight Blues</i>. Oh, and we got blinds on all our windows and sold our Spanish Fork home.<br />
<br />
June - "I thought brains were important but for the task of mothering it's more important to have dogged persistence and optimism." We ate beef bulgogi, which is delicious. I started going for bike rides with Piper. We had an open house party to motivate us to get the house together, and also to show it off. We went to my cousin's wedding, Joshua moved in for a week and we got to meet his girlfriend. Adam and I went to La Caille for our anniversary, which was really fun (if a little cheesy in a fancy way).<br />
<br />
July - We had a family reunion with my dad's family here in Provo. We missed most of the stuff in the mornings, but we got to visit in the afternoons and evenings. I didn't play as many games as I would have liked but I did get to visit with family (in our book discussion group Grandma said: "If it's a clean romance what's the point?"). We got Google fiber and had a LAN party to celebrate. I tuned our piano, sort of. We engaged in mortal combat with weeds. We did an escape room and I walked the temple to temple 5k with Piper.<br />
<br />
August - Went on lots of walks and bike rides with Piper. I went on a stake RS retreat and it was nice to be able to hike around, go boating on the lake, and get to know the other ladies in my ward a little better. We helped Joshua<br />
<br />
September - More walks, and I managed to bike to Bridal Veil Falls with Piper. I made a fancy layer cake for the first time for a party we had. I made <a href="http://animalhomedesigns.tumblr.com/">an animal crossing tumblr</a> for my animal crossing designs and interior decorating. "I meal-planned and grocery-shopped like a boss. A housewife boss."<br />
<br />
October - Hiked Timp with Joshua and Katrina! It was so beautiful, and also cloudy, and for the last few hours, rainy. Definitely a memorable, if tiring, experience. We met my sister in LA and went to Indiecade. We also met some of my friends from college while we were there. We had a day for the beach that was really fun too. The only bad part was Piper waking up every day at 5am XD. My parents visited us for Halloween. and stayed a few days afterwards--we walked on the river trail and bought cute clothes for Piper at Target.<br />
<br />
November - We had a British Bake-Off party that was pretty fun. Adam went on a work trip and I survived with lots of TV and some friend interaction. We visited my sister's family in Albuquerque for Thanksgiving--everyone was there except for Joshua. Some of us did an escape room while we were there, which was fun, and we played lots of games like Apples to Apples. Descent 2, and 7 Wonders. I felt happy that Piper got to know her cousins a little better.<br />
<br />
December - I applied for an accepted a position at the BYU library that I start soon. We went to Esperanto club and tried to play the LoTR card game in Esperanto with Cav and Roz. I made an epic modular Poinsette for my friend's ornament exchange and reread some Harry Potter books to help get me excited for a Yule ball party we went to with friends in our ward. We did a big Christmas puzzle that had so many santas in it we thought some of them had to be aliens (no, it doesn't make sense). We got a giant Christmas tree and I baked tons of cookies. We had Christmas with Adam's family and we got to go sledding and eat delicious food together.<br />
<br />
The whole year I kept up a monthly movie afternoon with some of my friends that I really enjoyed and I hope I will continue. I also hosted a few game nights with neighborhood friends and I want to either keep those up or start a floating lady pub in our neighborhood.<br />
<br />
Looking back on <a href="http://whistlerbyu.blogspot.com/2015/01/2014-summary.html">last year</a>, I think I did alright on my goals. We moved without any lasting trauma and I kept up the Monday-morning-breakfast tradition, although our Monday-night-game-night tradition could use some revitalizing. I did work on more pixel art, although it was mostly within my Animal Crossing games. I never got around to making a terrarium... but I do have a houseplant that is still alive. I didn't write down any spiritual goals, but I learned to appreciate that not every spiritual experience has to have a scripture or churchy thing attached to it.<br />
<br />
This year, I want to help Adam and his family/friends get <i>Midnight Blues</i> into a playable state (almost there!), and maybe even a beautiful state. I want to good a good job in my new job and I hope that having some time away from Piper will help me enjoy her more (some studies show that working moms play with their children more). I hope I can keep making meal plans, and if I have to hire someone to clean my bathrooms once a month I am okay with that. I want to stay positive about cold weather (it's getting harder) and also try to be more positive about parenting, because I complained about it a lot in my journal.<br />
<br />
Games I played (I only beat 6 of them): Atelier Escha & Logy, TheatRhythm Curtain Call, Gyakuten Kanji 2, Gravity Ghost, Heroine's Quest, Ibb and Obb, Pokemon Trozei, Pokemon X, Dungeons of Dredmore, Cave Cave Deus Videt, Child of Light, Danganronpa 2, Dragon Age 2, Riviera, Middens, The Novelist, Secret Files: Tunguska, Antichamber, The Last Window, The Dreaming (Ren'Py game), Choice of Robots, Fantasy Life, The Talos Principle, Don't Starve Together, Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Final Fantasy 9, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, Attack the Light, Amnesia: Memories, Undertale, Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer, Steins; Gate, Aglimpse, Neko Atsume,<br />
<br />Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-30576229865651373972015-12-07T10:40:00.001-08:002015-12-07T10:40:15.762-08:00Things we were thankful for this NovemberHere's what I was thankful for this year:<br />
<br />
snow boots<br />
snow<br />
good music<br />
babysitters<br />
netflix<br />
infant tylenol (Piper and I both got colds at the same time)<br />
a landscaped yard<br />
a warm house<br />
comfy bed<br />
bread<br />
river trail<br />
eBooks and library eBooks<br />
hot chocolate<br />
skype (Adam went on a work trip and we skyped every night)<br />
handy neighbors (we didn't realize that we had to turn the water off for our sprinklers and our neighbor helped us)<br />
frozen meals<br />
<br />
Adam's:<br />
<br />
working from home<br />
this blanket (the jeans quilt I and his mom made for him)<br />
you making dinner<br />
in-home humidifierRachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-80465892093317971272015-12-02T11:37:00.002-08:002015-12-02T11:37:30.718-08:00Clouds and foodFamily photos over on the <a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/">family photo blog</a>! Here are some non-baby pictures for you too:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSmLqt2uMDWxNdqYDEYUAc5aOBnBW3FvAwdR12YnZEWcA-zHtgZpYRKILWTXBYBQFUOol12Kr3UeV_krfT13ifashSMOYvCL3I9jpa5j3wRLdOXspkCHurDU4QyOcD9HR6GDjFvA/s1600/20150921_080719.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSmLqt2uMDWxNdqYDEYUAc5aOBnBW3FvAwdR12YnZEWcA-zHtgZpYRKILWTXBYBQFUOol12Kr3UeV_krfT13ifashSMOYvCL3I9jpa5j3wRLdOXspkCHurDU4QyOcD9HR6GDjFvA/s320/20150921_080719.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">some kind of caterpillar we found on the river trail</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwytMMBrmac_gGUi9CaxtBMq97z79zfMLTAXZ0W8e9oD0lvWePBYbSh090xg4R77mklbNDgdSzhFILw9VtbyHVwKrsAtWDNBh8UCnnDz2NTCKbALzDfnPYH9OXwl5iuG5G4G6mOQ/s1600/20150923_092407.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwytMMBrmac_gGUi9CaxtBMq97z79zfMLTAXZ0W8e9oD0lvWePBYbSh090xg4R77mklbNDgdSzhFILw9VtbyHVwKrsAtWDNBh8UCnnDz2NTCKbALzDfnPYH9OXwl5iuG5G4G6mOQ/s320/20150923_092407.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">mushroom tree</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6Q6uQN_xVLxNQXU_2GTjpxfwLtyoyxnrBnIftQ-VpqgthnnFA6cJTH8jf-AUOSS6-wdn8CRnLEPGMaJW5urHJ_qUpzFfXudY0ha0-xgYEpsds1niGPolPei67lnGGxq2nWDeUQ/s1600/20150924_112539.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6Q6uQN_xVLxNQXU_2GTjpxfwLtyoyxnrBnIftQ-VpqgthnnFA6cJTH8jf-AUOSS6-wdn8CRnLEPGMaJW5urHJ_qUpzFfXudY0ha0-xgYEpsds1niGPolPei67lnGGxq2nWDeUQ/s320/20150924_112539.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bridal veil falls</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDE-RheaTt2LqY7Hrf50xpyfRsveONv2TZ7CQisFvL_wahWDApxnHwcjroohJ7uxkv8vqnWG9UChB8OoDXDvWNs7BSwrHcEN3RrcQVyj7VBJbODwx_F_P3vs5X4xU1l6QXJb1Og/s1600/20150925_090047.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDE-RheaTt2LqY7Hrf50xpyfRsveONv2TZ7CQisFvL_wahWDApxnHwcjroohJ7uxkv8vqnWG9UChB8OoDXDvWNs7BSwrHcEN3RrcQVyj7VBJbODwx_F_P3vs5X4xU1l6QXJb1Og/s320/20150925_090047.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">horses!</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9X8M7tX_VwCRW1cr8xPJ_VpCegn6FQM8RGVRD6DxogarsscwOOeYhyvwV_AWnx3jxhtqCEg0VUPz7FmwfGqwvbraiGiWotEafMiF2TlIT_kcgCOB0wB5f8xSBYkT6APqGUPObQ/s1600/20150929_073038.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9X8M7tX_VwCRW1cr8xPJ_VpCegn6FQM8RGVRD6DxogarsscwOOeYhyvwV_AWnx3jxhtqCEg0VUPz7FmwfGqwvbraiGiWotEafMiF2TlIT_kcgCOB0wB5f8xSBYkT6APqGUPObQ/s320/20150929_073038.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio2vEbGZyy3r1ww9VpltKQJ2iLvC7jVQ6EXZ7gZwP06-2TgMGTVRke0X20z5yP743xYtpjW3c18NnEwa-CpN_TnYuzHG4x2mdnM1x45QpSorZ9pIGNbaZ8G9_VuA07RuC-nruZjA/s1600/20150929_085842.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio2vEbGZyy3r1ww9VpltKQJ2iLvC7jVQ6EXZ7gZwP06-2TgMGTVRke0X20z5yP743xYtpjW3c18NnEwa-CpN_TnYuzHG4x2mdnM1x45QpSorZ9pIGNbaZ8G9_VuA07RuC-nruZjA/s320/20150929_085842.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like the texture of this brick</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsajQttklQVrYgxuLpi87tRR4ehXecacfzZ8EYRajQrxdo0zjQCYyD-hUUOaqcIiVRIUaA6nBlzc0YnMTzrwCrhXij7zgdqfkcLvRH3WgG3-hWvHO3lPgBkWfgKEPXiONQ5fSBMA/s1600/20151001_093452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsajQttklQVrYgxuLpi87tRR4ehXecacfzZ8EYRajQrxdo0zjQCYyD-hUUOaqcIiVRIUaA6nBlzc0YnMTzrwCrhXij7zgdqfkcLvRH3WgG3-hWvHO3lPgBkWfgKEPXiONQ5fSBMA/s320/20151001_093452.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy Halloween</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi691lx2zXuFvn8aY-QHo9Ws127UfosdIF7C27oPPHbVsIsMTPnKu1vsFFzae4lCtFfaxPXUHQPeakxyaXm60ZeUoTQiUG5rBbe9edYxDuwoZnKuk3kC7BKYbVCfbcG0MVJ_cldhw/s1600/20151003_072205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi691lx2zXuFvn8aY-QHo9Ws127UfosdIF7C27oPPHbVsIsMTPnKu1vsFFzae4lCtFfaxPXUHQPeakxyaXm60ZeUoTQiUG5rBbe9edYxDuwoZnKuk3kC7BKYbVCfbcG0MVJ_cldhw/s320/20151003_072205.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hiking Timp</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggqPlX5PphS_DaESdaq9j7HSDP9h55AznYhOFrSadAOo1TJV7908XAMgt3NkYKotdxUQOwBi9mbATPAYi6RGs6VFjBhSlLr7_soktJAAVyrCiV6JuaF9vpsLvRPGiz99MiDQH7lw/s1600/20151003_162104.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggqPlX5PphS_DaESdaq9j7HSDP9h55AznYhOFrSadAOo1TJV7908XAMgt3NkYKotdxUQOwBi9mbATPAYi6RGs6VFjBhSlLr7_soktJAAVyrCiV6JuaF9vpsLvRPGiz99MiDQH7lw/s320/20151003_162104.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ifxc88psVLl-pu3OiI7y7dlTDioiMrQGzb6gYcwpvgtZaCUjpe2t1Pk67jjafuWpyfEZ4RDzUYFjey6WTDrINkAJyAnFsJJgNn6onnOuVCDWdkQKTQ2G0QbBFIh7mSk1DUM3bw/s1600/20151003_163330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ifxc88psVLl-pu3OiI7y7dlTDioiMrQGzb6gYcwpvgtZaCUjpe2t1Pk67jjafuWpyfEZ4RDzUYFjey6WTDrINkAJyAnFsJJgNn6onnOuVCDWdkQKTQ2G0QbBFIh7mSk1DUM3bw/s320/20151003_163330.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">yeah, it rained</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTcZmt-dariELzXeT_E7FoeI8NUUJULNZ77mX2QUYuu9noSbpC3aMNNOGJvrcEGWje0vYCd5I2eFZgF0dGinxFX_4PE6PFFRt3NJcvkZTv6qPuFEhz4V_ewVII9gkr-oqY4rsy6g/s1600/20151008_082957.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTcZmt-dariELzXeT_E7FoeI8NUUJULNZ77mX2QUYuu9noSbpC3aMNNOGJvrcEGWje0vYCd5I2eFZgF0dGinxFX_4PE6PFFRt3NJcvkZTv6qPuFEhz4V_ewVII9gkr-oqY4rsy6g/s320/20151008_082957.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">radiatus!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmOm3ay-MfJEpnCeK5DUTnjcWtLt6jIt9-kqR3P_gh5taakJ07qHeZ6on6EnVB95sEPvwJ4eka8Nn-4iqDQg9LvdvnmlnU4Ru0tbflTH8oMSv9sIwjRU6qo8FlmEC1EIs6_TJ0g/s1600/20151012_094559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmOm3ay-MfJEpnCeK5DUTnjcWtLt6jIt9-kqR3P_gh5taakJ07qHeZ6on6EnVB95sEPvwJ4eka8Nn-4iqDQg9LvdvnmlnU4Ru0tbflTH8oMSv9sIwjRU6qo8FlmEC1EIs6_TJ0g/s320/20151012_094559.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the fall you can go wading in leaves</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkzb1tPGRB9P0lAZQ3-YCZ_47zvMhSdsNDdDdeXgL3mlQ7E-MKb6OM-1Rbo_RcjEE7sTa0OyXF05fxE4lpYuyb1ZxrkZx5N_DQQuvDFGq-kVXJ7i1QcqN_NPc5HdT8Cxu2C9wx2A/s1600/20151013_100230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkzb1tPGRB9P0lAZQ3-YCZ_47zvMhSdsNDdDdeXgL3mlQ7E-MKb6OM-1Rbo_RcjEE7sTa0OyXF05fxE4lpYuyb1ZxrkZx5N_DQQuvDFGq-kVXJ7i1QcqN_NPc5HdT8Cxu2C9wx2A/s320/20151013_100230.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">mushroom</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQhKbur_wLBmDhzTph6ATxB5x8OO4MTAz8hfHKmA-xdy2g_l-BMbSLZ54ewYAzKsEZIUJuuYxRWFegX4YC28E1i4M5Z8234_uSQcN8lG8pjXsOpMPMmR2CqQYR6TWbAx5NVp6Hw/s1600/20151021_095156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQhKbur_wLBmDhzTph6ATxB5x8OO4MTAz8hfHKmA-xdy2g_l-BMbSLZ54ewYAzKsEZIUJuuYxRWFegX4YC28E1i4M5Z8234_uSQcN8lG8pjXsOpMPMmR2CqQYR6TWbAx5NVp6Hw/s320/20151021_095156.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cap cloud on Timp</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif2R8QDIscQSrfdQu1I39o2Z31qwupj-0uSKkBudXEkv8-bKMPLObECxa7a8peKDUP12zbRr4XgQotiEXVPi9JKHBfpWpUzb2tdYnvePcOyo1cj_TuzVnMF4-_WE96y5f6JkQWGg/s1600/20151021_100131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif2R8QDIscQSrfdQu1I39o2Z31qwupj-0uSKkBudXEkv8-bKMPLObECxa7a8peKDUP12zbRr4XgQotiEXVPi9JKHBfpWpUzb2tdYnvePcOyo1cj_TuzVnMF4-_WE96y5f6JkQWGg/s320/20151021_100131.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cute little panni clouds</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqqrK9hbgNmsuvJlu1SYMBQkG1UUtjcKQ9SzMJw5tVubqWu0QXaJ62FiMJkpnuK2dTNa0oD6OsR77HeaidNV4tzc-FDUSODznAyZJ69OZCwfGWn0T8IG7IaB9Ve4fT0wXNB_CEw/s1600/20151027_120816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqqrK9hbgNmsuvJlu1SYMBQkG1UUtjcKQ9SzMJw5tVubqWu0QXaJ62FiMJkpnuK2dTNa0oD6OsR77HeaidNV4tzc-FDUSODznAyZJ69OZCwfGWn0T8IG7IaB9Ve4fT0wXNB_CEw/s320/20151027_120816.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivImqhV2nrobsOyJ0-_DQF50NyUtO-qW54EgMF1I-Lupt5THTlkMHzAw2xfRElHwzeYsUh75kfBQ1nC7SzqXa5BgJBv_1sY2HOntBCOqQfH1xATMnvIFKBLPbS94VZC0kietQw6g/s1600/20151030_195300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivImqhV2nrobsOyJ0-_DQF50NyUtO-qW54EgMF1I-Lupt5THTlkMHzAw2xfRElHwzeYsUh75kfBQ1nC7SzqXa5BgJBv_1sY2HOntBCOqQfH1xATMnvIFKBLPbS94VZC0kietQw6g/s320/20151030_195300.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPde_LAtKotL8j66LfnC7QUZT6AxCGNql7-P9eNwe-NUl47HAMUkgxG7lwp1fz8kbHEOkWxSH6MBiVfLX1ja9aGDvg3PBpUrse1j6E4nvfn_p8CXFjNahHTZRoCZKYVjYxOMcQsw/s1600/20151030_195311.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPde_LAtKotL8j66LfnC7QUZT6AxCGNql7-P9eNwe-NUl47HAMUkgxG7lwp1fz8kbHEOkWxSH6MBiVfLX1ja9aGDvg3PBpUrse1j6E4nvfn_p8CXFjNahHTZRoCZKYVjYxOMcQsw/s320/20151030_195311.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRO1wIdPezh_58e_fyiHava0YgpZwMeyBTamtwu9_VBojSxGmXfeXybSxeDmEpGARpe7fLucZliryZhtTYoUKxRiJNa1B-WG4bm-3Ti6Fh0ZiM7IaTm_sCQXkRO9GPwPtwh-QAQ/s1600/20151114_180812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRO1wIdPezh_58e_fyiHava0YgpZwMeyBTamtwu9_VBojSxGmXfeXybSxeDmEpGARpe7fLucZliryZhtTYoUKxRiJNa1B-WG4bm-3Ti6Fh0ZiM7IaTm_sCQXkRO9GPwPtwh-QAQ/s320/20151114_180812.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had a party for the British Bake-off finale! I made this Pan L'Accienne. Koko ate one of my loaves >_<</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBAp-s-6fkgt9c8j_Xihu7J30yk6PBT90WQDkH9xcgE9OJvtzZ-uZFIzO8nJdZKrgyOG4FyX4Gljpcol3cMDbtaGF7S2DQZ7ULXp09AL2Mvjk8Q8pjs647A8PE3D1wj97EmkwmvA/s1600/20151114_180829.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBAp-s-6fkgt9c8j_Xihu7J30yk6PBT90WQDkH9xcgE9OJvtzZ-uZFIzO8nJdZKrgyOG4FyX4Gljpcol3cMDbtaGF7S2DQZ7ULXp09AL2Mvjk8Q8pjs647A8PE3D1wj97EmkwmvA/s320/20151114_180829.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adam and I made minestrone</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwY5s8_6CRLODCApwZdUQ8pZFZ1vCGmZdMBnRYejFNeBlmfHIvmwq36A621ZTRVbyNFBPq7QrwCzFu8StzkuMmt0bYTHK4dFRxhtdgr7op-LTqPikUHMQkLS1J0WJs30bQuMo0_A/s1600/20151114_183421.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwY5s8_6CRLODCApwZdUQ8pZFZ1vCGmZdMBnRYejFNeBlmfHIvmwq36A621ZTRVbyNFBPq7QrwCzFu8StzkuMmt0bYTHK4dFRxhtdgr7op-LTqPikUHMQkLS1J0WJs30bQuMo0_A/s320/20151114_183421.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our cousin brought macarons and this photo doesn't do it justice. Grapefruit ganache!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZ9uuhtvSHDGo1gYGBLAwfcAvZ177PFtIzw-7s3H7jd_ntUL4YzdSa3TQGnzGWhiOaPWUOMd2Eqmsp9N4yNXj17xxQcRs1hbK7b8nKPaV4BAsvALXMY34ckPaIiqOK5Zry_2KTg/s1600/20151114_183426.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZ9uuhtvSHDGo1gYGBLAwfcAvZ177PFtIzw-7s3H7jd_ntUL4YzdSa3TQGnzGWhiOaPWUOMd2Eqmsp9N4yNXj17xxQcRs1hbK7b8nKPaV4BAsvALXMY34ckPaIiqOK5Zry_2KTg/s320/20151114_183426.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My neighbor brought eclairs and they were delicious. Then I got too busy hosting and didn't take any more photos.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPnmniBS5DFBzkVazgqrG33NIFpnY0SlWkkUtY4r4G7xpReUr1zCOVJRCKYptzDzf7xIbe8VROv8mR7x9-LqlqzSQ9lTkr-ntnc4NDbkhMz4ze34vToxUSr73DIgw4Lkw5sSPWg/s1600/20151124_171102.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPnmniBS5DFBzkVazgqrG33NIFpnY0SlWkkUtY4r4G7xpReUr1zCOVJRCKYptzDzf7xIbe8VROv8mR7x9-LqlqzSQ9lTkr-ntnc4NDbkhMz4ze34vToxUSr73DIgw4Lkw5sSPWg/s320/20151124_171102.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One night in November we had the most awesome sunset.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoUNqVg9wqKsxbiFn9vSwLRT_I6Mb5aD9y-MMjQj1taT9HTQSszP7yVCxu8KdV6VTcjSDDWsm8DhEJahu4mofiG0duzn2n4qcNzgjGQYhB8vXC-DulIZVLLcXx1H2Mmgvc6IbxfQ/s1600/20151124_171122.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoUNqVg9wqKsxbiFn9vSwLRT_I6Mb5aD9y-MMjQj1taT9HTQSszP7yVCxu8KdV6VTcjSDDWsm8DhEJahu4mofiG0duzn2n4qcNzgjGQYhB8vXC-DulIZVLLcXx1H2Mmgvc6IbxfQ/s320/20151124_171122.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheFVhorzpf5RKVqes3CF_qgGeu6jmepr5v80y9gGVV0dbNksY3JmcGvbkQCqRzTsmXWu3LeaS9Pno8FTiqViwnmNrdvk1DT98dq8r-SnWFeEwPWio4Cg9tZjWZFtMQoeAenUktZg/s1600/20151124_171245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheFVhorzpf5RKVqes3CF_qgGeu6jmepr5v80y9gGVV0dbNksY3JmcGvbkQCqRzTsmXWu3LeaS9Pno8FTiqViwnmNrdvk1DT98dq8r-SnWFeEwPWio4Cg9tZjWZFtMQoeAenUktZg/s320/20151124_171245.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ZTbqxoS6pAZClWpFbk0aDietQmGvm90fVEUuyrZjkm6KntMDyzXcC3lpTCNr3Q150gFDwuC_kdSn6GhZxpfkEW_hBTK2wgLsFs9VkG4C5IeOinrOH2wm3hbk9vexfBAyA15_KQ/s1600/20151129_153729.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ZTbqxoS6pAZClWpFbk0aDietQmGvm90fVEUuyrZjkm6KntMDyzXcC3lpTCNr3Q150gFDwuC_kdSn6GhZxpfkEW_hBTK2wgLsFs9VkG4C5IeOinrOH2wm3hbk9vexfBAyA15_KQ/s320/20151129_153729.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">view from our room in Albuquerque</td></tr>
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<br />Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-48035951770928858602015-09-30T13:29:00.001-07:002015-09-30T13:39:52.534-07:00Chobani yogurt<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So, ever since high school I've been getting free stuff for helping with <a href="https://www.bzzagent.com/">Buzz agent</a> marketing campaign things. They should probably pay me money, but hey, free stuff with no legal commitment. For this campaign I got to try some Chobani yogurt from our local Smith's.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCWCZUckfSPIQWEE1fy8ApIjVgMD-ayT_IWkhN3h-j7jumVp9hBwbvg9pNsuy0grL_6yZIywZI-oVU08-jSVjJdlUXlvph04GEw41ABTB5ltAY359VM4oMioIWBO-cnBmLAZNjDw/s1600/20150909_142410.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCWCZUckfSPIQWEE1fy8ApIjVgMD-ayT_IWkhN3h-j7jumVp9hBwbvg9pNsuy0grL_6yZIywZI-oVU08-jSVjJdlUXlvph04GEw41ABTB5ltAY359VM4oMioIWBO-cnBmLAZNjDw/s320/20150909_142410.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">woo free yogurt</td></tr>
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Here's my rundown of the four yogurt products:<br />
<ul>
<li>Chobani flip: It looks like some kind of indulgent dessert and costs $1. Cheaper than a donut and probably healthier. It is awful. The chocolate pieces tasted kind of bitter to me, even though I double-checked that I didn't get the coffee flavor. The pretzel pieces were an interesting idea, but seemed cheap. There's no flipping involved so I'm not sure why it's called a flip. I'm not a fan of sour and chocolate. 0/5</li>
<li>Chobani kids: I thought they tasted weird, but they couldn't put any fruit clumps in them. It's a yogurt snack-thing that needs to be refrigerated, which means it has active cultures (I'm not so sure about the shelf-stable stuff). My daughter, Piper, is a big yogurt fan and liked these. I thought the Spiderman tie-in was tacky (what do spiders have to do with yogurt?). Also, my daughter could use the extra fat, what's with all the low-fat yogurt? 3/5</li>
<li>Fruit on bottom yogurt: Tastes like any kind of lowfat yogurt... full of artificial stuff to make the yogurt have a creamy mouth-feel without the fat. There's only so much you can do with lowfat yogurt... 3/5</li>
<li>100 calorie yogurt - I'm afraid to try it. :-(</li>
</ul>
<div>
Well, we've established that I'm a complete yogurt snob. I recommend any kind of plain full-fat yogurt. If you're in Utah, Moutain High is super delicious. Best mix-ins: Lemon curd, nuts and honey, and fruit. If you're desperate jam will do in a pinch. Piper loves this yogurt mixed with any flavor of baby food.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsr8-2WuCBqPHIhj0-MoxyZyeteC4l0WHDirnYCpyu7AvA6paAHy9Qh5FAQFG_SsojwJulKN1AM8vAzaIUSRD71Rgcmf1u41iWKxQtTB1ARxXJO5a3WDUrMSnjTQWKSFmHVO8swA/s1600/20150909_142415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsr8-2WuCBqPHIhj0-MoxyZyeteC4l0WHDirnYCpyu7AvA6paAHy9Qh5FAQFG_SsojwJulKN1AM8vAzaIUSRD71Rgcmf1u41iWKxQtTB1ARxXJO5a3WDUrMSnjTQWKSFmHVO8swA/s320/20150909_142415.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we love this yogurt<!--3--></td></tr>
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Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-74214063467813128302015-09-13T14:32:00.002-07:002015-09-13T14:33:47.785-07:00Walking on the Provo River Trail + cake<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The past month or two I've been walking a lot on the Provo River trail with Piper. Almost every time we see something new and exciting. If you just want to see baby pictures they're on my <a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2015/09/end-of-summer.html?zx=f59f9aeece9d669a">photo blog</a>.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxHd4B82qrg9M6-pDzr68OnKnrVnTF2oySyW1Bmd3IhXe9c4NRYS9AdHTsfI22eojebHihCyODYw0ptYuY22lUpFawGAQp2X6lXYOZxz8cQA1ho8zFKHHMYxQAeZxwvpoEnPjdA/s320/20150807_081122+-+Copy.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12.8px;">some shelf fungus appeared on a tree after it rained</span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxHd4B82qrg9M6-pDzr68OnKnrVnTF2oySyW1Bmd3IhXe9c4NRYS9AdHTsfI22eojebHihCyODYw0ptYuY22lUpFawGAQp2X6lXYOZxz8cQA1ho8zFKHHMYxQAeZxwvpoEnPjdA/s1600/20150807_081122+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgDwG76i5l8I5odRIv-QmEVKL-pBNTSQAAzxcHzrkD4987Y2kMc0zeungsMVI3LZ62eyRzIhDp63AhXs5LlhnAXG_ZhhbCVTqwRMtci529NV-v4qnEYqkKlc7U44O9Xnc6ODROfw/s1600/20150810_081600+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgDwG76i5l8I5odRIv-QmEVKL-pBNTSQAAzxcHzrkD4987Y2kMc0zeungsMVI3LZ62eyRzIhDp63AhXs5LlhnAXG_ZhhbCVTqwRMtci529NV-v4qnEYqkKlc7U44O9Xnc6ODROfw/s320/20150810_081600+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a dead Monarch butterfly! At least I think it's a Monarch.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9YECvBdUKrkRQb5Ge8x6HVCDa7WJldlmcZvcaZz4CkEU_4mvzG0ZvMBYfHrRVrGOeGKREgYYMNfuSfPNcT2fG2qX2dP0HgMu05IQsANOJKQjxGqsCfvnN18AhTkviAR7BvHG9oQ/s1600/20150810_083339+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9YECvBdUKrkRQb5Ge8x6HVCDa7WJldlmcZvcaZz4CkEU_4mvzG0ZvMBYfHrRVrGOeGKREgYYMNfuSfPNcT2fG2qX2dP0HgMu05IQsANOJKQjxGqsCfvnN18AhTkviAR7BvHG9oQ/s320/20150810_083339+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I meant to identify this flower after our walk... I never did X(.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir89jn8T3d-I59dIsliwVTI1GnAl6cl8FN_UpecmwFFAMOvR0njnUIsmgoW7KRt1BfX4_GHzYpZIACXgZYzzlw5cYEdCfpuqP6AlUmbEdFVZ9IYtse61tBbmo5LiL5XbVddhyphenhyphen4Ug/s1600/20150815_084754+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir89jn8T3d-I59dIsliwVTI1GnAl6cl8FN_UpecmwFFAMOvR0njnUIsmgoW7KRt1BfX4_GHzYpZIACXgZYzzlw5cYEdCfpuqP6AlUmbEdFVZ9IYtse61tBbmo5LiL5XbVddhyphenhyphen4Ug/s320/20150815_084754+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the views are amazing</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBbD62T7f1TFOh9VFWw1LaG8X06mwx36BCrsBhsSMzD0LoPV4RDz0Li4tw9cnKDABRX3TtN1TKxl-MQwW8UFqERWCmqh4xYzS3anxIeoK-_t7eKoAdrLKoCWo0nQzzGVKvLipmUQ/s1600/20150815_085215+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBbD62T7f1TFOh9VFWw1LaG8X06mwx36BCrsBhsSMzD0LoPV4RDz0Li4tw9cnKDABRX3TtN1TKxl-MQwW8UFqERWCmqh4xYzS3anxIeoK-_t7eKoAdrLKoCWo0nQzzGVKvLipmUQ/s320/20150815_085215+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ladybug!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaH_VRy54-9WmvqqCWUbtnoQ1yAyPIBuK6ASGAxVbA2HccA2FFcrzTjK4W7qe0A9yeSx_WG2RC4FdP9LxJMhmuIjWGwtl2y3w9o4viu9gDyOili2jYvjGYJd0VA4ID7qN_Xrzz2g/s1600/20150817_072949+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaH_VRy54-9WmvqqCWUbtnoQ1yAyPIBuK6ASGAxVbA2HccA2FFcrzTjK4W7qe0A9yeSx_WG2RC4FdP9LxJMhmuIjWGwtl2y3w9o4viu9gDyOili2jYvjGYJd0VA4ID7qN_Xrzz2g/s320/20150817_072949+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">morning clouds in our neighborhood </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjALvXAvun1a-gpsiK_do1GSWxGBr3crdL7DbpmFkAsqdpC2x0I5CR_MZCYqLPHcopMdiBV9Bl2SexGY7c1DdNTeWM-pKMV4uzbqzb0plkm-jKBZYW1Wf3xz9WvsjbvcIFawAlfYA/s1600/20150901_084131+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjALvXAvun1a-gpsiK_do1GSWxGBr3crdL7DbpmFkAsqdpC2x0I5CR_MZCYqLPHcopMdiBV9Bl2SexGY7c1DdNTeWM-pKMV4uzbqzb0plkm-jKBZYW1Wf3xz9WvsjbvcIFawAlfYA/s320/20150901_084131+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">there's a part where the river trail goes under a road that has openings of different shapes. The diamond opening was by far the favorite of spiders! You can't see it very well but there were 12+ spiders in this one opening. Test of courage!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEzOe1E8QqG7L1WLHtzbiT0OUu8LSPDM3lN7k4UyrN0TDwrnCp3ya4WDrwkd7dswmpq2de3ngkBFsumY5GDUQKo6SvdobLkT1wa3aVtTjZ-7AVhIcpAMvSMD65gHb85qhTNuDUdw/s1600/20150901_085618+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEzOe1E8QqG7L1WLHtzbiT0OUu8LSPDM3lN7k4UyrN0TDwrnCp3ya4WDrwkd7dswmpq2de3ngkBFsumY5GDUQKo6SvdobLkT1wa3aVtTjZ-7AVhIcpAMvSMD65gHb85qhTNuDUdw/s320/20150901_085618+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's a spot where 30-40 ducks regularly congregate and sleep near one of the parking lots. We call it "duck city."</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicdNOOpd04Wjs4f00_EpvF1JyO2newBCoNKqVDr1asvvMbQMgelO4KqxYj20nCSDbtz4l1cfCcOOkCGIQWOlD4uhFPfilN8jdf2WjXJNTljV-JNNDDTwMD40ccwx647jiFASwc9A/s1600/20150901_092035+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicdNOOpd04Wjs4f00_EpvF1JyO2newBCoNKqVDr1asvvMbQMgelO4KqxYj20nCSDbtz4l1cfCcOOkCGIQWOlD4uhFPfilN8jdf2WjXJNTljV-JNNDDTwMD40ccwx647jiFASwc9A/s320/20150901_092035+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leopard slug</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJiGM7JotSVCz1ZGMugp0dlQ5dcPmB9E1BNcUkSRcMynsGoRB-RjXDX2U5lq67E5YxB_4sJymknJQxm-u3-XkEErflzNOzzFtvZFy5_L6vJ00bxQgKw2UL3Ao73BFP2Xd1bEbdOw/s1600/20150901_092933+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJiGM7JotSVCz1ZGMugp0dlQ5dcPmB9E1BNcUkSRcMynsGoRB-RjXDX2U5lq67E5YxB_4sJymknJQxm-u3-XkEErflzNOzzFtvZFy5_L6vJ00bxQgKw2UL3Ao73BFP2Xd1bEbdOw/s320/20150901_092933+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">UFO cloud!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyh_KAOQgDJnv_Tskj4DGlSL76Mpfartw87bVwDFdlqiRhTIXTInAv6XFadFdTFvO9cLUoVat7PvxPaO1CZ12xIfiTWLWdVkQkDKx_VEnLIZgguqcOaLCWsM0MFOQGXT2ogu_LUw/s1600/20150908_074839+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyh_KAOQgDJnv_Tskj4DGlSL76Mpfartw87bVwDFdlqiRhTIXTInAv6XFadFdTFvO9cLUoVat7PvxPaO1CZ12xIfiTWLWdVkQkDKx_VEnLIZgguqcOaLCWsM0MFOQGXT2ogu_LUw/s320/20150908_074839+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we get tons of these bugs around our house... are they mayflies?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4JyRKp7lh22lNTUkeSHO69Er42B3A0x3VgeC2LzFKPWMO7a2RD9Q_ls1vvaPZQw_9lT83gxcarj49z5J2s71jHZMyZlN91yLDFgR3Jf1EKaYVDsAt8dJ29QBCi78wg7LSHotgw/s1600/20150908_082134+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4JyRKp7lh22lNTUkeSHO69Er42B3A0x3VgeC2LzFKPWMO7a2RD9Q_ls1vvaPZQw_9lT83gxcarj49z5J2s71jHZMyZlN91yLDFgR3Jf1EKaYVDsAt8dJ29QBCi78wg7LSHotgw/s320/20150908_082134+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There is a house along the trail with a very duck-friendly yard and regular morning feedings (usually between 8-9). This must have been before the feeding and I counted at least 60 ducks gathered here. I call it "ducktopia" because I keep wondering if they're going to harvest any of those delicious-looking ducks. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUbwkPl2b6XFxxMLCCuRrOlsImhOdF05OzTtJ7H3D4Z7uGjOWnqVuTy29g5ZEc6RvEykfbslCsPlYHOKrsM7Dy2SpMZBu8azIS3jFtFu0Ap3XZx-sXxQHyx1OJZOd_XbKR27GI8g/s1600/20150909_075410+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUbwkPl2b6XFxxMLCCuRrOlsImhOdF05OzTtJ7H3D4Z7uGjOWnqVuTy29g5ZEc6RvEykfbslCsPlYHOKrsM7Dy2SpMZBu8azIS3jFtFu0Ap3XZx-sXxQHyx1OJZOd_XbKR27GI8g/s320/20150909_075410+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another yard near the trail houses two horses and a donkey. Koko and Piper were pretty interested in meeting it.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtTqV2toBU9Bje4B11S_FrXaSnq9PFsW3Ln0LBS3F791Z-vDDIGjhDnOzVo-dconQO1U4th2pisPvNIc-3-Lk-Uw3-lCVnrA90ajSG3KYIPisuqjlOOpjA-72uesN3IXQjXSEAKQ/s1600/20150909_080012+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtTqV2toBU9Bje4B11S_FrXaSnq9PFsW3Ln0LBS3F791Z-vDDIGjhDnOzVo-dconQO1U4th2pisPvNIc-3-Lk-Uw3-lCVnrA90ajSG3KYIPisuqjlOOpjA-72uesN3IXQjXSEAKQ/s320/20150909_080012+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">look carefully--there's a moth in this photo!</td></tr>
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I looked up the tree that is everywhere on the river trail and it's a Fremont Cottonwood tree. Duh! I feel like I should know this stuff by now. Is there a remedial plant identification course I could take?<br />
<br />
I started taking Piper to the library and I read a few issues of <i>Otomen</i>, which they have there. Here were two parts I thought were pretty funny (in the first two, the friend is thinking up an excuse to leave so his friend can have a good date or something). In the second two, the traditional swimsuit fan service is completely undermined, to humorous effect.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi12RcKt8e3ysmG9fOgYFsPOP53HusGUtiizi5TNnMd6ZuUDmEcx8yH3PAI_exp0Rj4_Mfxggix4eF0F5oYBYSPrgNkVumulkzDO_ZLZXGhjkzhD4WreOIqEWLKfb0IL080si_cOw/s1600/20150805_193028+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi12RcKt8e3ysmG9fOgYFsPOP53HusGUtiizi5TNnMd6ZuUDmEcx8yH3PAI_exp0Rj4_Mfxggix4eF0F5oYBYSPrgNkVumulkzDO_ZLZXGhjkzhD4WreOIqEWLKfb0IL080si_cOw/s320/20150805_193028+-+Copy.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZkizHOqzGCiCWF-3RiKlciMkBhGWF0MdNiFVpTxcPuupAJrdC4T7WzlmjRFjgVWAdP9CK5-r1Jrob2H3CvtH2uojetN86lKDKW7ydNru7xQCezAAaFVjzGSmkugxTQIekUASj9g/s1600/20150805_193019+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZkizHOqzGCiCWF-3RiKlciMkBhGWF0MdNiFVpTxcPuupAJrdC4T7WzlmjRFjgVWAdP9CK5-r1Jrob2H3CvtH2uojetN86lKDKW7ydNru7xQCezAAaFVjzGSmkugxTQIekUASj9g/s320/20150805_193019+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCG78fLQ93B16kokAgfsZYgUKTXp6-9CuepvWPbOLFLmt65yoCiw3IXkRi1w1vTU5OwpZURuMmgh-RdFfqhEZf4pIVSgUrZZwOQz0PoibKN3oMCS9OmdnT2QWBWAc-78F_iUc6hg/s1600/20150806_205358+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCG78fLQ93B16kokAgfsZYgUKTXp6-9CuepvWPbOLFLmt65yoCiw3IXkRi1w1vTU5OwpZURuMmgh-RdFfqhEZf4pIVSgUrZZwOQz0PoibKN3oMCS9OmdnT2QWBWAc-78F_iUc6hg/s400/20150806_205358+-+Copy.jpg" width="300" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDeSSJl24ZvNRqcAY365tCZ0rfsCwwTaDBnjl5t1UIlqvt4M4tPE_S7f-kY8A1W4HHaDX38ZK2YjEIICBXLuJYKGrhganYOg_xYS_0x_ipgVc0o-i-P9MCDGegh8O4OORsVGCQOw/s1600/20150806_205348+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDeSSJl24ZvNRqcAY365tCZ0rfsCwwTaDBnjl5t1UIlqvt4M4tPE_S7f-kY8A1W4HHaDX38ZK2YjEIICBXLuJYKGrhganYOg_xYS_0x_ipgVc0o-i-P9MCDGegh8O4OORsVGCQOw/s400/20150806_205348+-+Copy.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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Okay, now for the last few photos I wanted to share:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEKNzwzAZbxzMk3BEF1p8e1H8PYWi9kd_5O5x3PkJIUuBbVFlXJSUf-d8fl0NFe75zmk49XoRT-HARYsWHQIogkEhZRpkylO99raaalp0SoVuFy4Pj8OuPTMSNVWqzKRsq4MR7gw/s1600/20150901_145547+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEKNzwzAZbxzMk3BEF1p8e1H8PYWi9kd_5O5x3PkJIUuBbVFlXJSUf-d8fl0NFe75zmk49XoRT-HARYsWHQIogkEhZRpkylO99raaalp0SoVuFy4Pj8OuPTMSNVWqzKRsq4MR7gw/s320/20150901_145547+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sometimes I have really high-calorie snacks? This is goat cheese, cashews, and honey.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7LrgvYTzPvFDsEsPTU-WgYRhNMtFzpPGqzczVqy_dZFqhGAo-wuikETmdtUmIibLwLWF9EGkTlViVlTX9jCD2HEj3pWbfDZRveK69U1r88r-3dD2-rP2b3P6OSJXYVT0nphj0bg/s1600/20150905_133727+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7LrgvYTzPvFDsEsPTU-WgYRhNMtFzpPGqzczVqy_dZFqhGAo-wuikETmdtUmIibLwLWF9EGkTlViVlTX9jCD2HEj3pWbfDZRveK69U1r88r-3dD2-rP2b3P6OSJXYVT0nphj0bg/s320/20150905_133727+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I made caramel for a cake I baked</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9rq_JGBWZ1_n6Xaf2GJqqCiwQJkxlyd3qgpRuObn7kaAs7nvrNfncHVNT57T828BvqM8eO0C31txzJq04XvqFYRvE6ljxPPjA2tNb0yv7OSUw1LNTyWl7rFMfUcy5MV6z18xZg/s1600/20150905_145927+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9rq_JGBWZ1_n6Xaf2GJqqCiwQJkxlyd3qgpRuObn7kaAs7nvrNfncHVNT57T828BvqM8eO0C31txzJq04XvqFYRvE6ljxPPjA2tNb0yv7OSUw1LNTyWl7rFMfUcy5MV6z18xZg/s320/20150905_145927+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was the cake before I frosted it. It looked better after the frosting, but I forgot to take a photo.</td></tr>
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I baked a cake! It was this salted caramel cake from the Cook's Illustrated magazine. It was actually one of my "little goals" I mentioned in the <a href="http://whistlerbyu.blogspot.com/2015/08/little-goals.html">previous post</a>. The part I messed up on the most was cutting the two layers in half and getting them to line up. Otherwise it was just a matter of following directions, although I was glad I started in the morning, because with all the cooling times of the cake, caramel, and frosting it took almost all day! I have a lot more appreciation for the work that goes into making a cake now.Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-87222915529054424912015-08-06T12:39:00.005-07:002015-08-06T12:40:11.543-07:00little goalsThis week I've been happily exercising--walking, biking, yoga-ing, and ellipticalling. I felt inspired by an essay in the new <i><a href="http://signaturebooks.com/2015/04/fresh-courage-take/">Fresh Courage Take</a></i>, in which a stay-at-home-mom feels more purpose and joy in her life my making little life goals about things other than keeping her kids alive. I have two physical health goals I'm working towards: I want to bike to bridal veil falls and back with Piper, and I want to hike Mt. Timp. I'm thinking I should have some intermediate goals too. I'd like to try out the Murdock river trail on my bike, and I'd also like to hike that mountain up Provo canyon again.<br />
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I and some of Adam's friends have been working on a video game project we've entitled Midnight Blues, and for a while I was writing away at things like backstories and lore. Right now I'm not really sure what the most productive thing I could do one it is, and it might just be to wait until the engine and art and story are a little further. I know I'll be a lot busier towards the end of the production cycle (assuming we can finish it) when I head up the PR/Marketing front of things. I feel like writing the story is a lot more interesting to me, but someone (i.e., me) has to do the less-interesting parts of game manufacturing in this situation. In the meantime I can work on other things!<br />
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Admittedly I haven't been doing very much creative stuff. I did design a little overcoat in <i>Animal Crossing</i>, among other things:<br />
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I've also been planning and cooking dinner each night, which is a good habit to be in. I have some other goals to try to make things I haven't made before. Life is pretty good.</div>
Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-61356470608165395842015-07-06T13:23:00.001-07:002015-07-06T13:23:16.086-07:00Shameless terrible food photosNew <a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2015/07/first-birthday-and-family-reunion.html?zx=5221052801ad5043">post</a> over on the private photo blog! Also here are some other photos.<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSQeI3hknKojdmH_xHw0JTCsbAgPVN182Ba91Q2YS0fE2B6fdvf7CVFisBAjT00uu7EiHPGmkXuEGviY2SQQ5rijAIAgEr9ZN7HmgKSczuLL2yRHD2ct3wFcZPSB3rU5AJA1rtEg/s1600/20150528_073841.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSQeI3hknKojdmH_xHw0JTCsbAgPVN182Ba91Q2YS0fE2B6fdvf7CVFisBAjT00uu7EiHPGmkXuEGviY2SQQ5rijAIAgEr9ZN7HmgKSczuLL2yRHD2ct3wFcZPSB3rU5AJA1rtEg/s320/20150528_073841.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought this typo was funny. From <i>Last Window</i>.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had an open house and these were the foodstuffs. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vITxMHv9I4gTLmjoWqXtqR431Umy3xq9ekk9gpSUxg28tPEsVYwyB1SGDgNajc2PHSHjJFqPM_FaOxwAS1T72T8Cww-Dbb9Kj3uMpGsF11y-gQ1LsulGlND8PE2lxOH0QfrseA/s1600/20150613_125145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vITxMHv9I4gTLmjoWqXtqR431Umy3xq9ekk9gpSUxg28tPEsVYwyB1SGDgNajc2PHSHjJFqPM_FaOxwAS1T72T8Cww-Dbb9Kj3uMpGsF11y-gQ1LsulGlND8PE2lxOH0QfrseA/s320/20150613_125145.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh and some healthy stuff too.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg52Xc6oa0cKe2-waWs_JjaMMWYuDnnz886NtNzKCosQzJ9FsSQPewuy-QrSQpKJF1kk6GX0lQ3z9GW_mcxR5QO1g2hKCDpUBaXFFERs_3WS3b6HhyphenhyphenxZ0Vi46pgj_ScdJgtZDThlg/s1600/20150627_182433.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg52Xc6oa0cKe2-waWs_JjaMMWYuDnnz886NtNzKCosQzJ9FsSQPewuy-QrSQpKJF1kk6GX0lQ3z9GW_mcxR5QO1g2hKCDpUBaXFFERs_3WS3b6HhyphenhyphenxZ0Vi46pgj_ScdJgtZDThlg/s320/20150627_182433.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We went to La Caille for our anniversary! I think this is the beet salad, which was really good. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMwfaZKXynQxDcFlm5cLMPNpVZp7KlPCtCV-wWt3Pk7biDMnWXTYivY9Y2UyCWhCauTXTzkwh5XLq8eg9pXuLpVwMqlEPLFBFtdziqA-bo7Z6eCznCBqJTsa2QI0pt9j1tYmCzDg/s1600/20150627_182438.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMwfaZKXynQxDcFlm5cLMPNpVZp7KlPCtCV-wWt3Pk7biDMnWXTYivY9Y2UyCWhCauTXTzkwh5XLq8eg9pXuLpVwMqlEPLFBFtdziqA-bo7Z6eCznCBqJTsa2QI0pt9j1tYmCzDg/s320/20150627_182438.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had the Boston salad</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2wjkEkhgOKN9SYvIbra0RM15ClCVfKn9H70NHrgpjKvKgLWStsCpXHF6dL2MGVsMsnOg3rW_s7k0PAIkM20g-TdoxLb4gUVqY6kZuqdfjM6SFXbhkcFmOIiT-KIDwJ0k-48dbjQ/s1600/20150627_184213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2wjkEkhgOKN9SYvIbra0RM15ClCVfKn9H70NHrgpjKvKgLWStsCpXHF6dL2MGVsMsnOg3rW_s7k0PAIkM20g-TdoxLb4gUVqY6kZuqdfjM6SFXbhkcFmOIiT-KIDwJ0k-48dbjQ/s320/20150627_184213.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adam had... some kind of seafood thing. I think that's Halibut.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyo_xgAQoZ220H2MjHnr_VC1u84wRetJP33jRiTI9aXrTwgq8Iuj3ExOuOGXeZQwMqsnmF8-XxYf_-SlfW5frZkzIIOdvVF4toY9lAqQTUQU7TRJpHgYDWOm_G41BGPBYwcknyw/s1600/20150627_184220.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyo_xgAQoZ220H2MjHnr_VC1u84wRetJP33jRiTI9aXrTwgq8Iuj3ExOuOGXeZQwMqsnmF8-XxYf_-SlfW5frZkzIIOdvVF4toY9lAqQTUQU7TRJpHgYDWOm_G41BGPBYwcknyw/s320/20150627_184220.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Peking duck! I was delighted to find duck on the menu since PF Chang's no longer serves it.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_s0vOskmFHta0Z-ZmGhQIt6lvPPqHZbpFzwdBiF1gXaRou6fRXcpbK5LjDWPVLYlI9f5VIKrMvRBrSUi82nKL9Qm6W4ieAE80KM_LV3N9CGiPbvzFybix1jgYPuSc81I9VSAmw/s1600/20150627_192953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_s0vOskmFHta0Z-ZmGhQIt6lvPPqHZbpFzwdBiF1gXaRou6fRXcpbK5LjDWPVLYlI9f5VIKrMvRBrSUi82nKL9Qm6W4ieAE80KM_LV3N9CGiPbvzFybix1jgYPuSc81I9VSAmw/s320/20150627_192953.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And Pavlova for dessert.</td></tr>
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Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-39631939052424490432015-07-06T12:25:00.001-07:002015-07-06T12:25:29.479-07:00When summer is or isn't relaxingI feel like part of my identity has been taken over by my offspring Piper. I think it's pretty common--on Facebook many women with children have children with them in their profile pictures, which I think is indicative of how it affects a caregiver on an almost subconscious level. I am down to one breastfeeding a day, and I'm kind of looking forward to being more separate from Piper. It feels like she will always be clinging to me and wanting something of me.<br />
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I thought I might be one of those moms who wants to breastfeed their baby for a long time and hold them all the time, but I'm not. I think I might be a bit opposite that, actually. I might have mentioned this before but I feel like I'm trying to optimize my parenting to not include effort from me. I like Piper just fine! I just have other things I want to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm not savoring the baby moments enough, like I'm going to miss her being a baby or something, but I think that will be nostalgia and not actually wanting to go back in time. Although right now I am remembering how much time I had to myself when she was sleeping half the day!<br />
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The main thing I do that is not related to childcare and housekeeping is to consume media like books, TV, and videogames. My life is pretty good, so I don't feel like I NEED to "escape" it, although sometimes I feel like I'm trying to forget about my daily responsibilities for a few minutes (and is that so wrong?). I also like feeling like I'm a part of a common experience with popular media and sometimes it gives me something to talk about with other people. I know that if I spent more time on creative pursuits like writing or even doodling I would probably be happier about how I spend my leisure time! I guess that's why I'm writing this blog post.<br />
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We are getting Google fiber internet today! We had Utah Broadband (UBB) for about 3 months until we could get fiber installed. UBB had great customer service and they were able to install their antennae on our house pretty quickly. We got their lowest tier which is $40 a month and sort of okay. With the faster internet we won't have to think ahead of time for game downloads and I'll be able to stream TV in higher quality.<br />
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Last week my family on my dad's side had a family reunion. Adam took the week off and we tried to hang out at the Timp lodge where we had the reunion as much as possible. I enjoyed seeing my relatives and getting to know them a bit better. I have to admit though, it wasn't exactly a relaxing vacation. Lots of people helped with Piper pretty much constantly, and the rest of the family took care of the majority of meals. So I'm not really sure why it was stressful? Besides the fact that we ended up keeping Piper up late every night and she missed some of her naps. I keep telling myself that my "time off" is more like the time that everyone is on-schedule or at work and my "crunch time" is when we're on vacation or when we have company, but it still always surprises me how not relaxing it is to simply have people over (but I enjoy having people over!).Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-6581337346624494822015-05-01T11:51:00.001-07:002015-05-01T11:51:11.641-07:005/1/2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
There's a <a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2015/05/all-moved-in.html?zx=a2cd9162e14a0b16">new picture post</a> over on my family blog. We moved and it was pretty stressful, but we had lots of help. My parents visited and helped unpack more things and my in-laws helped get our former house ready to sell. Piper is crawling around and getting into everything. We've been buying lots of new stuff (bedding for the guest room, rug for the library, a more childproof media stand) and I feel bad about being such a consumerist. I haven't been exercising every day like I was, and I feel like I should do that more.</div>
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I've been helping with a new game project with my husband, two of his siblings, and some friends. I kind of feel like everyone has something important to contribute except for me, but Adam is hoping I can help everyone stick with the project long enough to complete it. I guess in the past I have excelled at being consistent and persistent. But ever since I dropped out of graduate school, I feel less obligation to finish things. On the third hand, I know if I'm determined I can stick with something.</div>
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Meanwhile, some other pictures that didn't make the "family photos" cut:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">love slow-cooker meals but can't stand the smell? My neighbor has the perfect solution.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">gnarly dude</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR9SvRxTdXIst_rtu09WaJnf7fhyXGEVDhkyypp4JsK7mvlAkf5QkYNs3zhr_-ETYgsQGckAhrV-_FYKF3PhikKywbO_RTBXnBLK8tMR8dR1FkU3HSyKEvtQMS2QBuZgP_02xztA/s1600/20150324_160007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR9SvRxTdXIst_rtu09WaJnf7fhyXGEVDhkyypp4JsK7mvlAkf5QkYNs3zhr_-ETYgsQGckAhrV-_FYKF3PhikKywbO_RTBXnBLK8tMR8dR1FkU3HSyKEvtQMS2QBuZgP_02xztA/s1600/20150324_160007.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I found a fungus in our new backyard! I'm not sure what it is, if it's even a mushroom. It's rigid to the touch.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0fzsuN14WoI5WZ0wapAPUR4t_WIwoa4BL0FpNmNxlEkUPFCSIF4BaWSeJrYSjiPqfcUIJsyOcgQpkBXIqugW4L9u27-h6dIYB54e5u_XeIHyIgegagXgYxi6jOtCIJeEa0cHAZw/s1600/20150417_200807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0fzsuN14WoI5WZ0wapAPUR4t_WIwoa4BL0FpNmNxlEkUPFCSIF4BaWSeJrYSjiPqfcUIJsyOcgQpkBXIqugW4L9u27-h6dIYB54e5u_XeIHyIgegagXgYxi6jOtCIJeEa0cHAZw/s1600/20150417_200807.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sunsets here are pretty great too</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDofldjUp-8Ph0j7rPQKE3rxmf5uslKzswVpS4AY9mJ_hNaNNf6TX6r9Q9nK8iCA9M2SgDnJvTUeLaClwPA2fRGAFuiacdfyetXp8M_KznI-InF6WMdJnfWj-7AhhG-ZzigicDhg/s1600/20150422_122245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDofldjUp-8Ph0j7rPQKE3rxmf5uslKzswVpS4AY9mJ_hNaNNf6TX6r9Q9nK8iCA9M2SgDnJvTUeLaClwPA2fRGAFuiacdfyetXp8M_KznI-InF6WMdJnfWj-7AhhG-ZzigicDhg/s1600/20150422_122245.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">saw lots of this field crescent butterfly on a hike</td></tr>
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Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-73779647110047488732015-02-17T17:28:00.004-08:002015-02-17T17:28:53.052-08:00New photo post; cuttlefish video!<a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2015/02/7-8-months.html">Here's a new post</a> on the family photo blog. Lots of pictures and videos! Here are some that don't have humans in them:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeELQ3WnpaofLqSpV-B9LBjEHCdoXNLmsXpRh1eaSezdJvMUxyCcbDsFuG9f0RvpH1geWqgftsHYhyZ1zPPvMPygcxPoQETvGN5KyQwi_RoP2q3B5MQmTnVPPEC45KVUYOb5Fzg/s1600/20141230_170618.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeELQ3WnpaofLqSpV-B9LBjEHCdoXNLmsXpRh1eaSezdJvMUxyCcbDsFuG9f0RvpH1geWqgftsHYhyZ1zPPvMPygcxPoQETvGN5KyQwi_RoP2q3B5MQmTnVPPEC45KVUYOb5Fzg/s1600/20141230_170618.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we visited California in December</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJxycLj4z70_1wXtbpDBV7vwAuIHk6Ah-rnxeO4b2fjOdYMgoCSRzXj1oV0hDSUzPG27AGrpju0HtftpSZ47LLJqzLJZwZMYkH6h5UXff7kza15ctp5Ff0lyabT9jK6qseio31fQ/s1600/20150119_131107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJxycLj4z70_1wXtbpDBV7vwAuIHk6Ah-rnxeO4b2fjOdYMgoCSRzXj1oV0hDSUzPG27AGrpju0HtftpSZ47LLJqzLJZwZMYkH6h5UXff7kza15ctp5Ff0lyabT9jK6qseio31fQ/s1600/20150119_131107.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">these clouds are cool</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifICAy9cAFcxi29QtWSNKtZtswEWkvZ-JBtJ6DIhlkhvCpepen045f7kH6UXi-yEGqXcGamxG8fuBkFfNLGBMPuNMMKZ3HvsHdHbJZrqTkrgFW8rxGnJdudsyX25ydFFOWAXEwIg/s1600/20150127_163219.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifICAy9cAFcxi29QtWSNKtZtswEWkvZ-JBtJ6DIhlkhvCpepen045f7kH6UXi-yEGqXcGamxG8fuBkFfNLGBMPuNMMKZ3HvsHdHbJZrqTkrgFW8rxGnJdudsyX25ydFFOWAXEwIg/s1600/20150127_163219.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">rainbow from our backyard!</td></tr>
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Here's a video of a cuttlefish from our aquarium visit if that isn't exciting enough:
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iuvFrt2JXm8?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-26426193584003887032015-02-14T09:23:00.001-08:002015-02-14T09:23:14.207-08:00Marriage survival-sim I helped with is now live!Hi friends and family!<br />
<br />
<i>Our Personal Space</i>, the marriage survival sim I helped write with my sister, is now live! Download it <a href="http://metasepia.icecavern.net/OurPersonalSpace/index.html">here</a> for Windows, Mac, Linux, or Android. I <a href="http://thepretentiousgamer.blogspot.com/2015/02/our-personal-space-is-live.html">wrote</a> about my experience writing/designing the game over on <i>The Ludi Bin</i>, my gaming blog. There are many genres of videogames, and in this one you don't have to worry about jumping over things or shooting anyone. But you do have to worry about how your choices will impact the other characters! Please let me know how you like it, if you play it.<br />
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Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-82221438606100723962015-01-02T12:37:00.002-08:002015-01-02T12:41:46.213-08:002014 summaryEvery year I like to read over my daily, handwritten journal and summarize it, so I can have a quick reference for what happened in the year. Here's what 2014 was like:<br />
<br />
January - We found out that I was pregnant with a girl, and I started stressing out about baby stuff. I still felt tired all the time and I slept a lot. I usually went to bed around 11 or 12 and woke up after 10am. One night I had a huge plate of nachos with refried beans, sour cream, tomatoes, and olives. I remember enjoying that! I made salad with goat cheese and candied walnuts and I wrote, "I like it with enough vinegar to burn my lips and tongue." I played <i>Radiant Historia</i> and watched <i>Sherlock Holmes. </i> I got rid of a bunch of t-shirts and shredded a bunch of documents. Adam and I started playing board or video games together every Monday night as an FHE tradition.<br />
<br />
February - We saw <i>Swan Lake</i> at BYU. At my cousin's baby shower my grandma told me how she had all of her children naturally, which I thought was interesting. I also found out at her birthday party that she wrote a column for a community paper while she was in Texas. Adam and I ate at the Communal one night and we got to sit at the bar and watch the chef. "He put like a spoonful of butter into all the root veggie sautees." We made pizza, and I wrote that "I always regret not putting more zucchini on my pizza." One day going to the grocery store was my "feat of the day." I scraped a car with my car while trying to park at DI and even though I was able to contact the car owner and get our insurance to pay for it I felt really dumb and rude. We spent a week visiting my parents and Adam worked while we were there. I found the birds and sunshine energizing. I resolved to not procrastinate cleaning the kitchen.<br />
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March - I got rid of more stuff, including an old desk, to start making room for the nursery. I played <i>Bravely Default</i> and <i>Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy</i>. I ate some delicious Reuben sandwiches. We bought baby furniture and a new kitchen table at IKEA. I got grumpy when it snowed.<br />
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April - We saw the MOA art exhibit with the Bloch paintings. We went to a prenatal class. I got into cleaning the bathrooms every week, at least the mirrors (I haven't kept that up). We made beef bulgogi and pizza with a metal plate (like a pizza stone). My neighbor friends threw me a delightful baby shower. Adam and I played a bit of <i>Netrunner </i>together.<br />
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May - My sister-in-law threw me a baby shower, and afterwards some of my college friends came over to hang out. We decided to make hanging out a monthly or bi-monthly tradition. Adam made an airship board game that we started prototyping. I made a butterfly origami mobile. I messed up a Hollandaise sauce. Adam bought an elliptical at the neighborhood yard sale which he sometimes used.<br />
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June - Sitting for long periods became uncomfortable. I had to be induced and gave birth to Piper (remember that's my internet name for my daughter?). The labor and delivery part went fine, thanks to my very supportive labor team. She had a little apnea when she fell asleep (i.e., she stopped breathing in deep sleep) and even though she didn't have any infections or any more apnea she had to spend a week in the NICU. It was kind of hard, because we basically just wanted to go home, but I got a lot of support and advice about breastfeeding and getting her on a schedule. I still had to pump milk and give Piper supplemental bottle feedings after each feeding, which I got sick of quickly (luckily we were able to transition to just breastfeeding about a week after she came home). <br />
<br />
My mom visited and I got a bit of "baby blues" around 2 weeks after I delivered. I remember just crying over stupid things and being amazed that there were so many PEOPLE in the world, and that each person represented a time that a woman gave birth and successfully took care of a newborn. Adam made beef ribs that he sous-vide-cooked for 72 hours and I remember feeling bad that I didn't appreciate them and crying over beef ribs. I had Adam get me a Kindle for our anniversary, which I still use all the time to read while nursing. I watched TV and played videogames while nursing too.<br />
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July - Piper started sleeping 6+ hours a night sometimes, which was a huge relief. I started cloth diapering her. Various people visited me to see the baby. At the end of the month I finally got out to do some errands and I thought I lost my keys at the car wash. After looking everywhere, including the inside of a vacuum, I found them in the key hole of my trunk. I started doing abdominal workouts to help ease my back pain.<br />
<br />
August - Two of my friends from high school visited us for 5 days and we took them (and Piper) to Timp caves and Arches national park. In some ways hiking with Piper was empowering, because it helped me realize I could still do stuff with a baby. But I hurt my knee hiking downhill with her, so I had to take it slow afterwards. Adam met with a bunch of builders and picked one to start building our house in Provo. We had lots of family over for a luncheon and Piper's blessing.<br />
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September - I tried to go through my religious beliefs and make them rational and logical, but I feel like it failed, because religious epistemology is inherently subjective (i.e., whether or not something is true depends on the feeling of the Holy Ghost, which isn't quantifiable and easily confused in my brain with how I feel about it). I tried out various goals to change my life in little ways, and I proved to myself that I can make myself a hot breakfast in the morning if I want to.<br />
<br />
October - I started unfollowing everyone on Facebook. I felt depressed about how my identity is tied to my consumption of goods. I thought Piper had a yeast infection but it turned out I wasn't washing the diapers properly (and she probably got an ammonia rash). My sister and her kids visited us, and my parents also visited for a weekend. I made some weird vegetarian dishes, and threw a party for my little brother's birthday. I remembered that I dislike horror games.<br />
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November - I made some pixel art to help Adam with his game (it is still pretty ugly but I want to keep working at it). I voted for like the second time ever. I started a tradition of having a big breakfast on Monday mornings. I started reading scriptures in the morning while I fed Piper. I made cherry JELLO salad for Thanksgiving with my in-laws. We moved Piper and her changing table into the nursery. We watched our neighbor's dog for a few weeks.<br />
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December - Adam went on a business trip for 5 days and I somehow managed to keep Piper alive that whole time. I took Piper to IKEA and shopped by myself too. We spent Christmas with my in-laws and it snowed a lot on Christmas day. Then we flew over to California and visited my family.<br />
<br />
The whole year we did cub scouts almost every week, and I practiced organ and played monthly until September. We subbed for primary quite a bit. I read quite a bit of epic fantasy as well as some other books (I reviewed them all <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/142980-rachel">on goodreads</a>). My in-laws fed us dinner at least once a month. We had friends over and visited friends. We ate lots of sous vide meat. I supported various Kickstarters.<br />
<br />
Looking back on last year's summary, it looks like I didn't have very many aspirations for this (2014) year other than to have a baby. Well, I did that! I gave up on learning kanji, which is kind of sad, but I think if I try to learn kanji again I need to include it in a more holistic approach to language learning. This year I'd like to keep up on trying out pixel art, or at least some kind of creative pursuit. I want to continue our family traditions of having a big breakfast on Monday morning and playing a game Monday evening. I want to continue keeping the kitchen clean. I want to go hiking with Piper more in the spring, and maybe try snowshoeing before then (and I definitely want to take her sledding!).<br />
<br />
I felt like a pushed myself with learning babywearing and cloth diapering this year, and I want to keep pushing myself to learn new skills (even if it's something as simple as learning how to make pie better or knitting a potholder). I want to build a terrarium in 2015, and I want it to look pretty. I don't feel the need to read more or play more videogames--I probably do enough of that on my own, without making a goal to do so. I want to help my sister with PR/outreach for her/our game, and I'd like to keep spending time with family. More short-term, I hope that I can prepare for our move in March in an organized fashion and not leave anyone with lasting scars or emotional trauma!<br />
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Hope you had a happy new year!Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-55247297438246471002014-12-22T20:58:00.002-08:002014-12-22T20:58:42.692-08:00more baby pictures<a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2014/12/half-year-old.html">check it out!</a>Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-40638772585358824622014-12-08T15:20:00.000-08:002014-12-08T15:20:20.614-08:00Thanksgiving thankful treeI stole my friend Tamsin's idea and we had a "Thanksgiving tree" this year. I took some of the stockier weed things we were cutting down in the backyard, took off their leaves, and put them in a vase of stones. Then I bought some luggage tag things that we wrote on and hung from the branches (I guess ideally they would be leaf-shaped, but it's fall so I am okay with having a leafless tree).<br />
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It was good to remember what we were thankful for. Here were the things I was thankful for:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
forgiveness - this sounds dramatic. I was kind of rude to someone on the phone and later I said I was sorry.<br />
baby toys/chairs<br />
loving family<br />
good food<br />
people who believe in me and my abilities<br />
pizza and restaurants<br />
domesticated animals - I was thinking of chickens and cows specifically, but dogs are nice too.<br />
a strong body<br />
easily-cleaned couch - Piper spit up a huge amount one morning.<br />
that Piper is alive and well - I tried to walk Piper and Koko at the same time, and Koko knocked over Piper's stroller while she was in it. Luckily she landed in the grass and was fine.<br />
online shopping<br />
home-cooked food and a clean kitchen - I wanted to capture more than this - that I have a good habit of cooking and cleaning the kitchen, and that I'm mentally healthy enough to keep up that habit.<br />
breastfeeding - it is really convenient<br />
running water<br />
our dishwasher</blockquote>
Adam's list:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
humidifiers<br />
our two working cars<br />
good friends<br />
music<br />
online palettes<br />
mawwiage<br />
our cute baby<br />
funny internet videos<br />
baby cooing noises</blockquote>
<br />
our visitors:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
warm blankets<br />
family<br />
strength<br />
friends<br />
good books</blockquote>
I bought some more Thanksgiving history books (I'm not sure why but I just love reading about early colonists' lives). Our Thanksgiving display improves! Now I just have to find a way to use up those decorative squash...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQVfYC8Srio50Jvdj8yWkLhz_-tqc38LFL2VH8gZ0RZIG_j9nVuVGTCbQHnl8qtM017pvsitTbXoccVcQhj-4GT-BDUv-nzJ7BnlWhKPr4Rpct-WfnwwarG48f2aKBUcZb4iatDQ/s1600/20141129_130741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQVfYC8Srio50Jvdj8yWkLhz_-tqc38LFL2VH8gZ0RZIG_j9nVuVGTCbQHnl8qtM017pvsitTbXoccVcQhj-4GT-BDUv-nzJ7BnlWhKPr4Rpct-WfnwwarG48f2aKBUcZb4iatDQ/s1600/20141129_130741.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32903774.post-26825110115254650872014-11-26T13:19:00.004-08:002014-11-26T13:19:30.676-08:00roll cloudAnother baby pic <a href="http://thehelps.blogspot.com/2014/11/snow-hike-and-self-swinging.html">post up</a>. Here are some bonus pictures:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5W4zx_Da6XWajiubGGumPUmlJ0phKjJ4e_yywwIYjPSxTocxwzhlXPqj9BDTh_iaVf8Z677yPE3gjqDnWWbRn_k3PW2Bq9hxWqoMN9TJsj5VFaZcU29RiMiVCEgv92bTJJTofA/s1600/20141122_105547.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5W4zx_Da6XWajiubGGumPUmlJ0phKjJ4e_yywwIYjPSxTocxwzhlXPqj9BDTh_iaVf8Z677yPE3gjqDnWWbRn_k3PW2Bq9hxWqoMN9TJsj5VFaZcU29RiMiVCEgv92bTJJTofA/s1600/20141122_105547.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">icey hike!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qAcBHkgt9xl6eaL1qmiKjXM9y_LrOw43jgimwAYBLp1C-1itwfIy19E_9ZBaSVTPzWMX5syaKcnA9zhQbXGaCjz6tnX5sdvS1DCKt8GhMyGoHqS7lxqUbYqTtVqhjH6HZ4NWug/s1600/20141123_172517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qAcBHkgt9xl6eaL1qmiKjXM9y_LrOw43jgimwAYBLp1C-1itwfIy19E_9ZBaSVTPzWMX5syaKcnA9zhQbXGaCjz6tnX5sdvS1DCKt8GhMyGoHqS7lxqUbYqTtVqhjH6HZ4NWug/s1600/20141123_172517.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think that is a roll cloud. I could be wrong. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LEo_ve_UHCkVaZiYaw8uAva0OVPudd0FscCNR0yC5WIp9JTbUAxv1r0ywvWDZJZ2LNl1s8eeXOd0rcS2MbaJ0MWScxYnFiVDhDfnPJfZ6ZoGGAcjWUWq02ueIQ7lHEL-bVHhsQ/s1600/20141106_170531.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LEo_ve_UHCkVaZiYaw8uAva0OVPudd0FscCNR0yC5WIp9JTbUAxv1r0ywvWDZJZ2LNl1s8eeXOd0rcS2MbaJ0MWScxYnFiVDhDfnPJfZ6ZoGGAcjWUWq02ueIQ7lHEL-bVHhsQ/s1600/20141106_170531.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought artists made up the clouds with lots of fine dots/grains. But then I saw some!</td></tr>
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<br />Rachel Helpshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01014437332813141047noreply@blogger.com0