Friday, September 29, 2006

*sound of frustration*

I feel really frustrated with my internet addiction, and you, my dear blog, are part of it. I'm usually not one to procrastinate but lately I think I've been getting worse. I hope I can keep it together this semester. I've been acting funny lately - displaying inappropriate affect, being rude to people, making dumb jokes (more dumb than usual), talking to myself, being self-effacing, etc. I think reading my abnormal psych book creeps me out. I keep thinking of people I know who could have these different disorders, but then I remind myself that I'm overpathologizing. But at the same time I have to come to terms with the fact that I have a stressful life. Granted, it's not as stressful as many people's lives. But you know, maybe stress is like a gas that just fills up life no matter how much there is. I would complain about everything but I hate reading about how some people think their lives are sooo hard when it's really not that bad, and I'd prefer not to elicit contempt.

Rectangle screen
your black edges
don't seem mean
but I get trapped in hedges
when I caress your body
a strange portal to connection
when will I be free
from this life in sections,
pages, codes, and letters
where anonymity seduces the weak
and leaves honor in fetters
in such silence, I cannot speak.

7 comments:

Thirdmango said...

Ah, the internet addiction. I too have been acting funny lately and realized that it too stemmed from my internet addiction. Because I've been playing poker, it adds to my internet time as does all my classes which use computers. I have very little time away from computers, that's why it was awesome going out taking pictures on friday. If you want, I wasn't able to do this on friday, but sometime this weekend I really want to go up Hobble Creek Canyon and take some pictures, fresh air in a canyon might do some good. Like in between conference sessions or early in the morning or what not.

I really like the line "where anonymity seduces the weak."

You should make a list about why your life is so good, after doing that myself I was cheered up quite a bit for a good number of days. Sure I have a list as long about why it's hard, but screw that.

Whistler said...

Thanks for the encouragement. Give me a ring after about 3:30 and I'll see what I can do.

Shazer said...

Better go and have a look at my blog...I left my comment there, instead of here. Also, what you are doing with your abnormal stuff.....wondering if you yourself have some of those disorders...and diagnosing others with some...is normal. Your professor should have given a disclaimer about how that happens to most everyone that takes the class. I know that about 95% of my class did...myself included. Anyway, go over and have a look.

Anonymous said...

The thing to remember about psychology is that it's all made-up. It doesn't exist. Neither do psychological "disorders."

Just like the internet. It doesn't exist either. It's a conspiracy by the government. They're watching my every move. They're going to hunt me down. They're coming to get me!

Whistler said...

anonymous
so basically, life is an illusion. aaah!

Nectar said...

I've known people who read medical journals and think they have symptoms for every disease in the book.

Hope you are feeling more normal soon.

My suggestion is to think about helping others.

Whistler said...

I'm sure thinking about it will help.