Let's have another angsty post about how I feel phony because I feel like I'm pretending to be something I'm not. Probably because I like taking on identities other than my real one, and not just as a Board writer. Someday I think it would be great to be myself. You know, not just tell people what they want to hear. Well, I'm usually pretty real when it comes to saying what I think, at least in Sunday School. I just feel silly when I introduce myself to people and tell them my major and where I'm from, and then I'm thinking... so this is what defines me for that person at the moment. I just wish there were an easier way to get to know people than talking to them. I'm sure some of them have blogs; that could be an easier way to get to know someone. However, I don't believe that all of a person's self is expressed in what s/he writes.You know, I really do believe that all the great ideas have been taken, so it's just impossible to be original these days. I suppose that a new expression of these ideas could be original... but I just hate how it seems that research and scholarly essays are just telling us things we've already heard in different ways. I'm not sure why that should bother me, I mean, the scriptures do the same thing and I find it perfectly justified in that context.
In a class of mine we discussed how one way to measure love is to see how quickly werf forgives others. I'm considering this in various situations, and I think that sometimes it is useful to not forgive others right away, mostly so you don't make the same mistakes or fall for the same tricks. Let's say you have a group member who consistently appears to slack off and doesn't come to meetings, but you feel sorry for him so you forgive him, and then no justice is done because he gets credit for all the work you've done. Is it better in this case to not forgive, to complain to TAs and your professor, and to make sure this member gets no credit? Maybe loving others isn't the smartest thing (but it feels nicer than holding grudges).
3 comments:
Maybe "forgiving" the team member is not showing that you love them, maybe letting them walk over you is being crueler to them than anything else since it alows them to never become self sufficient, and the only way that we are saved is by learning how to overcome our vices, like laziness and unmotivation.
I remember a talk by President Hinckley sometime in the last four years or so ago where he talks about forgiveness and then concludes by reminding us that there is a difference between holding a grudge and protecting ourselves from harm. We are required to forgive, but to protect ourselves as well. (I believe the context of the talk implied that he was talking specifically to victims of abuse, but that doesn't mean it doesn't apply more widely.) And I'd give you the reference, but I looked for it for about half an hour already this morning. I'd say I'd just imagined it, but in my case it was an answer to prayer.
I was going to make a comment on forgiveness, but it looks like the others have already said pretty much what I was thinking, i.e. that forgiveness doesn't mean taking away the consequences. You can forgive the man who rapes your daughter, and be content to let the law put him in jail forever (or better yet execute him). You don't plead his case in court. You don't protect him from paying the penalty of his crime. You just get the bitterness out of your soul by forgiving him, knowing justice will always be done, whether in this life or the next.
I recently saw the movie "Lady in the water." Your comment about all the great ideas have already been taken reminded me of that. There is an unlikeable character in the movie who says about the same thing. He is humorously torn apart by a beast because he believes his own misconception. Hmmm, you'll have to see the movie.
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