New isn't always improved

Something I don't understand is why people like new things: new CD releases, new bestsellers, or new TV shows. There are plenty of old ones to choose from, one that are probably of higher quality because they are still around now. The only exception I see is with scientific research, although there are trends and stupid hypes there too. So, I guess this is part of my ongoing obsession with the past.

spoons. oh and me getting all introspective again.

There's something I want you to notice about this photo: the spoon. It seems like every spoon in our apartment is different, and some of them are really cute. This one in particular has a design with roses, I think. You might laugh but it's these daily discoveries of art in my life that keep me happy sometimes.

For some reason I was thinking about my ex-boyfriends today. It always makes me feel kind of sad, like sometimes I can't believe they're still alive and have ideas and hopes that I'm no longer privy to (to any of them reading now: hello!). It's hard for me to imagine them apart from me. Maybe that says something about my relationships - maybe I'm too selfish or unimaginative of desires outside myself. I constantly worry that the people I love aren't who I think they are, that my perception is clouded by my unrealistic expectations. I guess worrying about it won't suddenly open my eyes to the difference between how people appear, how I perceive them, and how they are.

I don't know if I've changed at all over the past few years. I'm not sure if it would be a good thing if I did. Maybe I'm destined to make the same mistakes again and again. Maybe making mistakes will be fun.

then I giggle an hour later when I say hi to my past self.

sometimes when I e-mail documents to myself, I write "hello future Whistler!"

next I'll be dreaming I have an article published in a peer-reviewed journal

Okay, this is sad. I had a dream that a professor of mine was starting a research group and I was excited to be in it. It was actually a fairly nice dream, aside from the 13-year-old math genius who wanted to be a part of things (actual quote from my dream: "I could get along with an 18-year-old fine, but 13?" oh man I'm getting old).

I'm babysitting my sister's kids tonight and somehow they were all asleep an hour ago. I only had to cheat a little. Oh, and I've been playing "Portal." It's super awesome, but I remembered why I don't play a lot of computer games. I don't care about beating them. If I run up against a hard part, I'm like, "oh well I'll come back to this later" and then I never come back to it. That's... pretty much why I still haven't beaten Chrono Trigger or FF7 (I'm embarrassed).

vacation time

Visiting Crow was wonderful, but I hear one of his siblings is on to me... so I'll just embarrass him a little, and express my regret that Smith's doesn't carry country-made French Vanilla ice cream. ;-)

Well, now I'm at my sister's, and I get to play with my nephews all the time. Heh, I always win Nerf fights. My oldest nephew is four and he knows how to play LittleBigPlanet with the rest of us (the game and my nephew are way cute). Fun times!

"today this little baby stared at me..."

Okay, for all the complaining I do about my job, there are some nice moments (even if they are shrouded in vicarious embarrassment). Today this little baby stared at me for a half-hour car ride and I got to eat cake and ice cream and watch a kid hunt for Easter eggs and open presents. Later I had to entertain a girl who wanted to play with the copier (rock-paper-scissors only works for so long). And my boss left some salad burritos which she bequethed to me. Yeah, so the pick-up parent was late and I had to stay an extra half-hour, but I can't have my cake and then expect everything else to be perfect.

I am looking forward to taking off 10 days from work though. Um, Crow (the nickname makes sense to me, just get used to it) and I hit it off pretty well when he came down to visit last week, so I'm returning the favor this weekend (the stars aligned with a ride and Rummikub-like schedule switching at work). Normally I like to plan every detail out in advance, but this was like, "okay, let's see if I can make this work, right now." -crazy!

I've been interviewing for a new job, and I find job interviews terrifying. I think condensing myself into three words is absurd, and I also think asking someone if they're good at a job is stupid. Make them do some representative work and see if you like it or not! At least we have office skills tests so I can be like, "look how fast I can type, you definitely want to hire me!" I also really, really dislike misleading (using selective information with) people in order to convince them to hire me. But hey at least I got a few interviews!