Easy English for Russians

Read this excerpt from "Easy English For Russians." I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. It's so surreal! Here's a selection in case you don't want to go to the link:

SOME FOOLS                           НЕКОТОРЫЕ ДУРАКИ
REVERT TO SOPHISTICATED PROCEDURES   ПРИБЕГАЮТ К СЛОЖНЫМ ПРОЦЕДУРАМ
TO PROMOTE THEIR PERSONALITY,        ЧТОБЫ РЕКЛАМИРОВАТЬ СВОЮ ЛИЧНОСТЬ,
HOWEVER                              ОДНАКО
THAT KILLS THEIR MORAL IMAGE         ЭТО УБИВАЕТ ИХ МОРАЛЬНЫЙ ОБЛИК

1.That fool bored me like hell.      1.Этот дурак мне страшно надоел.
2.He told endless stories.           2.Он рассказывал бесконечные истории.
3.He told flat jokes,                3.Он расказывал плоские шутки,
4.after which he laughted alone.     4.после которых он смеялся один.
5.As for me, I wanted to weep.       5.Что касается меня, я хотел плакать.
6.At such moments                    6.В такие моменты
 I wanted to murder him.              я хотел убить его.
7.I wanted to strangle him           7.Я хотел задушить его
with my own hands.                    собственными руками.
8.In his stories                     8.В этих историях
 he always posed as a hero.           он всегда выступал как герой.
9.Sometimes                          9.Иногда
 his artistic ego                     его артистическое я
 was not successful                   не имело успеха
 in realistic terms.                  в реалистических терминах.
10.But then                          10.Но зато
 there were moral implications        был моральный подтекст
 to his advantage.                    в его пользу.

livemocha!

Hey guys, I'm on livemocha.com. I have yet to explore everything, but it looks cool. My username is Whistler, maybe we could help each other learn a language... I just wish the Russian courses went past the 200-level. But maybe I could start learning another language? I hate it when I only know a little of a language though...

Cheesy playlist

1. Belle & Sebastian - Step into my office, baby
2. Fleet Foxes - He doesn't know why
3. The Aquabats - Red sweater!
4. We Are Scientists - Lousy reputation
5. Cake - Love you madly
6. Radiohead - My iron lung
7. The Raconteurs - Steady as she goes
8. The Decemberists - O Valencia!
9. Arcade Fire - My body is a cage
10. Franz Ferdinand - Darts of pleasure
11. Cat Power - Could we
12. Death Cab for Cutie - I will follow you into the dark
13. My Brightest Diamond - Inside a boy
14. Cat Stevens - Here comes my baby
15. Radio Dept. - The worst taste in music
16. Muse - Time is running out
17. M83 - In Church (Cyann & Ben Version)

This was a mix I made for a "friend." Little did I know that there is a racy narrative behind it all (read the song titles in order)! Bah ha ha...

eye glasses: important fashion decision while under pressure

I just got new glasses (my last [most recent former] pair was my first pair of glasses ever, it was a big step for me). When I picked them out last week I thought they were black, but it turns out they're this bronze color that catches the light funny... actually I'm not sure if they even used the frames I picked out (I got the feeling they didn't trust my judgement, I hate it when two people try to help me pick out clothes or anything, because I know what I want and don't really care what they think). I wanted black plastic ones like the ones I had before, but all the ones they had screamed "jerk" or "I am trying to be hip." These metal ones feel lighter, but the plastic nose-hold things have additional screws in them, which I think makes the glasses less durable. I didn't really like the selection at my optometrist's, I wonder if I could buy frames online next time (but good luck getting insurance to pay for it, I guess)... like these (via Nerd Boyfriend, thanks for sharing that link bismark). Speaking of eyeframe trends, have you noticed that some people still wear those huge 80s frames? They're not in style anymore (though I applaud the increased visibility, even if they are ugly) - where do people get them? Do I need to find an optomitrist who specializes in vintage frames if I want some 50s horn-rims? There are so many things I don't understand about eyewear.

something happened!

Oh, by the way, I got into freaking GRAD school, that MA program I applied for. I'm so excited! I get to start on the prereqs Spring/Summer terms. Also on my list of prereqs is "ask all the dumb questions you can think of so that the admissions committee wonders what they were thinking when they admitted me." There are some concerning ratings of English professors on ratemyprofessor.com, but part of me isn't worried because I got along a lot of professors who have crappy ratings, let's face it there are just some bitter students out there.

I started reading Heller's Something Happened today. My favorite is the blurb on the back: "When you read Something Happened something will happen to you!" bah ha ha why don't books want to sell themselves anymore? "Once in a decade something important happens in books. In the 1970's, it is Something Happened." One project I'd like to work on sometime is scanning in my old paperbacks and make fun of them (a la pop sensation).

Now please enjoy this photo of my eye!

I wanted to upload a graph...

This is a photo of the contact paper in one of our cupboards. Also, here is a sneak preview of a graph I wrote up for a Board question (the file library was down, so I decided to upload it here).

and I suppose he wears shorts in the winter

I was talking to an former co-worker the other day. As usual we were talking about boys... I was telling her about this one guy, let's call him Crow, that I've taken a liking too. I explained how he's really smart but takes a devil-may-care attitude towards grades and has the makings of a real renaissance man. She said, "Oh, I get it, he's a real bad boy to you." I hadn't really thought about that before, but I think I secretly cheer on students who refuse to do pointless assignments and just do the work they need to do to learn the material. That's what I've liked about sitting in on classes these past two semesters - I only did the homework if I wanted to. And that's what makes the most sense to me.

Back to Crow, he's not at BYU at the moment so I have all this time to imagine him as someone he's not. And that kind of worries me, because I know that I've had unrealistic expectations about friends in the past, and it can be damaging. But at least I'm aware that I'm being silly. And I think he might even like me back, a little. He gets along well with children (or so I hear) and I find that really attractive, especially after working with so many people who don't. (P.S. Crow do you read this blog? I have no idea. Sorry if I embarrassed you.)

Not a joke

This is a transcript of notes I found on an actual sacrament meeting program (incidentally, I found it on the Provo temple grounds, which almost made up for the temple being closed):

Guy 1: There is definetly [sic] something there with her. I don't think I am just stupid. What do you think?
Guy 2: Man, I trust you Judgment and I support you, but 2 weeks is really quick.
Guy 1: This is how I explained it to her : (Makes sense?) You know during fast and testimony meeting, when you get the feeling to get up and share? And you do you best and set it aside, till you can't take it any longer, so you break and go to the front and share. I wanted to tell her I was going to marry her, but the thought "two weeks, two weeks," kept coming up. I don't know.
Guy 2: if it truly is the right thing to do, I don't thing giving it more time will hurt it. like we talked about earlier, it is an eternal decision. Granted, I was only 16 and didn't know anything, but the first 7 months w/ Celeste felt great. then the issues started to come out and we started fighting.
Guy 1: I agree with you, that is why I think Alaska is a really good idea. I think it will be 4 months to gain a better relationship with her.
Guy 2: yeah, I agree.

My commentary: Bah ha ha... the funny thing is that it's a fast Sunday program from 2006... that means that someone kept this in his pocket for like two years (although I guess I've done similar things). --Going to Alaska to strengthen a relationship? So is going to go there without her so they can do the long-distance thing or are they going together? And comparing getting married to bearing your testimony... I'm not so sure about that one... All I can think of is, "you know that feeling, when you're kissing, and you're sure you want to get married RIGHT NOW? yeah..." but perhaps he's holier than I am.

P.S. If this is you or a friend of yours, thanks for the amusement!